I’ll start. What do I think about pivots in midlife? I think they are really really necessary. We’re are not who we were, before our physical shift in menopause. How do we stay relevant in our own eyes and others? We must figure it out for ourselves, what interests us, how to be involved.
Love Eleanor's clip! Pivots? I'm trying, leaning a little harder into my writing. I certainly have the cliché fewer-fucks-to-give and care much less what people may think of my efforts. But I'm also, honestly, exhausted - by the world, my body, all those years of parenting. Hoping to find the energy for a real pivot, which sounds delicious.
I hear you, Lisa and I feel exhausted a lot of the time too. Is it menopause? is it hormones is a lack of hormones? is it the news? Is it the drinking? Is it not drinking anymore?
I feel the same way and when this blog isn’t growing much and I see all the other writers working hard harder than I am, I know there’s a reason why I’m not growing and yet I have trouble finding that extra gear to get myself to post and to read blogs and comment the way any other writers do.
But yet I am still driven to do this. When I told a woman what my blog was about the other day at mah-jongg, she was like I don’t want to do anything else I don’t want to pivot to anything. I just want to play mah-jongg and bridge and just chill out and move to Florida. And I was like that is a pivot. 😂
I agree, Susan. 20 years ago my kids were one and three. I had twins so was quite busy and confused. I thought I was going to work the rest of my life in my family’s company, but three kids in two years, took me out out of the game.
I learned to pivot: I was an interior decorator. I went back to school and got my MFA. I have a studio and I paint and I show I my work. I managed to stay married. My kids have graduated from college or will in the next two. I’m involved in my garden club and a little museum in my neighborhood. I have pets and I have parents. I’m learning new things.
But the time goes by very quickly and in such a haphazard way, it’s scary. I do miss the consistency of a schedule when kids were in school or when I was working in the office.
This freedom to come and go creates an erratic schedule where I literally don’t know where I’m going to be in two weeks because I might be going to visit a kid or a parent. You know? How do we slow down if we’re not in the same place long enough?
Mahjong: It's not hard! I watched my mom and was totally intimidated but a friend made me do a one on one with her and then I went to group thing a few times and I get it...if you want to get really good at it you have to play online I am told...I don't do this, yet.
I am not in mid life. This is a later chapter, I don’t want to say the last….at a young 72. Usually I have lists of things I have to complete each day, often a frenzy of activity. One day I gave myself permission to do nothing. It was a revelation. It came with a modicum of guilt, but I could get used to it. A truly f__k it moment.
Good one! I think we need to "give ourselves grace" as the twenty somethings say these days. I did that last week. I landed most of the things I needed to complete and the next day after an errand with the car I decided, fuck it...I'm out in my car near my friend so I called her and I met her at a nail salon in Malden. I have never done that before. An epiphany! I can get stuff done AND then go do non "productive" stuff...but what's more productive than seeing a friend or doing what you want?? Good for you!! What nothing did you do?
Pivots are necessary to remember who we are and what we want. I have found that I blink and 20 years go by. Looking ahead, I don't want my next 20 years to be a wash, rinse, repeat cycle of my past. Time to embrace a pivot! 🦋
(I sent this to Lisa Renee by accident a few days ago) I agree, Susan. 20 years ago my kids were one and three. I had twins so was quite busy and confused. I thought I was going to work the rest of my life in my family’s company, but three kids in two years, took me out out of the game (longer story).
I learned to pivot: I was an interior decorator. I went back to school and got my MFA. I have a studio and I paint and I show I my work. I managed to stay married. My kids have graduated from college, one left to go. I’m involved in my garden club and a little museum in my neighborhood. I have pets and I have parents. I’m learning new things.
But the time goes by very quickly and in such a haphazard way, it’s scary. I do miss the consistency of a schedule when kids were in school or when I was working in the office.
This freedom to come and go creates an erratic schedule where I literally don’t know where I’m going to be in two weeks because I might be going to visit a kid or a parent. You know? How do we slow down if we’re not in the same place long enough?
My whole heart is with Eleanor on this one... You CAN pivot into "Fuck it, there are fifteen other paths here to bring something amazing to fruition. i.e., "I don't have to let this one editor (or distributor) determine my fate." And, at this stage of our lives, we have what @AliciaDara calls "the SKEW" (the vast skills, knowledge, expertise, and wisdom) to determine a wicked smart forward. We just need to remember this. 😂
Thank you, Alisa! We need to remember that we have the ability to do all sorts of things, learn new things, try new things. I did find a "new gear" when my kids left the house. Not just time, but brain space and the energy to pivot, if we want to.
I’ll start. What do I think about pivots in midlife? I think they are really really necessary. We’re are not who we were, before our physical shift in menopause. How do we stay relevant in our own eyes and others? We must figure it out for ourselves, what interests us, how to be involved.
Love Eleanor's clip! Pivots? I'm trying, leaning a little harder into my writing. I certainly have the cliché fewer-fucks-to-give and care much less what people may think of my efforts. But I'm also, honestly, exhausted - by the world, my body, all those years of parenting. Hoping to find the energy for a real pivot, which sounds delicious.
I hear you, Lisa and I feel exhausted a lot of the time too. Is it menopause? is it hormones is a lack of hormones? is it the news? Is it the drinking? Is it not drinking anymore?
I feel the same way and when this blog isn’t growing much and I see all the other writers working hard harder than I am, I know there’s a reason why I’m not growing and yet I have trouble finding that extra gear to get myself to post and to read blogs and comment the way any other writers do.
But yet I am still driven to do this. When I told a woman what my blog was about the other day at mah-jongg, she was like I don’t want to do anything else I don’t want to pivot to anything. I just want to play mah-jongg and bridge and just chill out and move to Florida. And I was like that is a pivot. 😂
I agree, Susan. 20 years ago my kids were one and three. I had twins so was quite busy and confused. I thought I was going to work the rest of my life in my family’s company, but three kids in two years, took me out out of the game.
I learned to pivot: I was an interior decorator. I went back to school and got my MFA. I have a studio and I paint and I show I my work. I managed to stay married. My kids have graduated from college or will in the next two. I’m involved in my garden club and a little museum in my neighborhood. I have pets and I have parents. I’m learning new things.
But the time goes by very quickly and in such a haphazard way, it’s scary. I do miss the consistency of a schedule when kids were in school or when I was working in the office.
This freedom to come and go creates an erratic schedule where I literally don’t know where I’m going to be in two weeks because I might be going to visit a kid or a parent. You know? How do we slow down if we’re not in the same place long enough?
(I think you meant this as a reply to Susan - she may not see it here under my comment.)
I do have a tendency to miss file...thank you for the heads up! :)
I'm kind of with your mah-jongg friend - and I want to play majongg!
Mahjong: It's not hard! I watched my mom and was totally intimidated but a friend made me do a one on one with her and then I went to group thing a few times and I get it...if you want to get really good at it you have to play online I am told...I don't do this, yet.
I am not in mid life. This is a later chapter, I don’t want to say the last….at a young 72. Usually I have lists of things I have to complete each day, often a frenzy of activity. One day I gave myself permission to do nothing. It was a revelation. It came with a modicum of guilt, but I could get used to it. A truly f__k it moment.
Good one! I think we need to "give ourselves grace" as the twenty somethings say these days. I did that last week. I landed most of the things I needed to complete and the next day after an errand with the car I decided, fuck it...I'm out in my car near my friend so I called her and I met her at a nail salon in Malden. I have never done that before. An epiphany! I can get stuff done AND then go do non "productive" stuff...but what's more productive than seeing a friend or doing what you want?? Good for you!! What nothing did you do?
Pivots are necessary to remember who we are and what we want. I have found that I blink and 20 years go by. Looking ahead, I don't want my next 20 years to be a wash, rinse, repeat cycle of my past. Time to embrace a pivot! 🦋
(I sent this to Lisa Renee by accident a few days ago) I agree, Susan. 20 years ago my kids were one and three. I had twins so was quite busy and confused. I thought I was going to work the rest of my life in my family’s company, but three kids in two years, took me out out of the game (longer story).
I learned to pivot: I was an interior decorator. I went back to school and got my MFA. I have a studio and I paint and I show I my work. I managed to stay married. My kids have graduated from college, one left to go. I’m involved in my garden club and a little museum in my neighborhood. I have pets and I have parents. I’m learning new things.
But the time goes by very quickly and in such a haphazard way, it’s scary. I do miss the consistency of a schedule when kids were in school or when I was working in the office.
This freedom to come and go creates an erratic schedule where I literally don’t know where I’m going to be in two weeks because I might be going to visit a kid or a parent. You know? How do we slow down if we’re not in the same place long enough?
My whole heart is with Eleanor on this one... You CAN pivot into "Fuck it, there are fifteen other paths here to bring something amazing to fruition. i.e., "I don't have to let this one editor (or distributor) determine my fate." And, at this stage of our lives, we have what @AliciaDara calls "the SKEW" (the vast skills, knowledge, expertise, and wisdom) to determine a wicked smart forward. We just need to remember this. 😂
Thank you, Alisa! We need to remember that we have the ability to do all sorts of things, learn new things, try new things. I did find a "new gear" when my kids left the house. Not just time, but brain space and the energy to pivot, if we want to.