Michelle Obama and the teenager

What does Pluralism mean? Here's what the pros know WSG 84

What do WSG and TNP have in common?

The Nantucket Project 2023 is focused on healing a nation in turmoil, one citizen at a time. Through conversation, listening and consideration (and music and comedy) we can develop a deeper sense of empathy and respect for one another, despite our political differences. Women’s Survival Guide, is focussed on women who in midlife find themselves at a crossroads, or a dead end. Through experimenting, motivating and reaching out (and a lot of comedy) we can enjoy this period of change and growth together. The key similarity between The Nantucket Project 2023 and Women’s Survival Guide is the understanding that we suffer ignorance with isolation and we thrive together with empathy.  

THE NANTUCKET PROJECT 2023

As I mentioned in the last post I was invited to attend this year’s The Nantucket Project (TNP) conference. The theme was “Pluralism.” I think we will be hearing the term a lot more this year. A Google search shows that it has had a lot of play in 2023 in important places like The Aspen Institute, Harvard and Stanford had conferences on it, NYTimes Opinion, and on and on. The reality is Americans aren’t all too aware of the meaning of pluralism (I wasn’t). More on that in a moment.

The two key visual themes used on the TNP2023 web site are a funky bouquet of flowers and TNP speakers pulling up a half done zipper that will unite the sides of an American flag. It’s done with humor but the point is serious.

The original flower bouquet, seen above, expresses the many of us coming together in a democratic society. Many individual flowers making up a singular bouquet. Unlike a melting pot where everyone is melted together to be the same (see illustration below), the bouquet allows for individuality along with unity. E Pluribus Unum, Out of Many, One. In 1776, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin proposed “E Pluribus Unum” as a national motto to be used on the Great Seal of the United States along with the motto “the Eye of Providence”. The “Eye of Providence” isn’t all that memorable, is it? E Pluribus Unum is snappier and was first seen in a popular magazine, The Gentlemen’s Magazine in 1776¹

What does pluralism mean? Why is it important now?

From the dictionary: “Pluralism: a situation in which people of different social classes, religions, races, etc., are together in a society but continue to have their different traditions and interests.”

Here is a very good article by Chris Walsh and William McKenzie from the George W. Bush Presidential Center and to quote from it:

“Specifically, pluralism is social tolerance for individuals or groups who have different backgrounds, views, or beliefs. It also provides space for them to express views and practice their beliefs without reprisal – even when they conflict with others.”

Speaking of George W. Bush, his name was brought up in a positive light by none other than Michelle Obama in the great tent at TNP. I’m going to bullet point nuggets of wisdom I wrote down at the conference. There is too much content to go though all of the speakers but, I need to highlight a few and Michelle Obama is big one.

Michelle Obama. 

I mean, COME ON! She’s amazing. She’s a one in a billion. Sometimes, the bold face names are in fact worth listening to. Her ability to remain relatable as a mother, a wife, a woman, a First Lady, and a citizen is remarkable. She is so darn likable! 

The premise behind this year’s TNP is tolerance, or pluralism. And in sticking to the theme Michelle discussed her experience of a peaceful transfer of power from the Bush White House to the Obama’s. There is a clear love fest between the families. 

Handing the US presidency over has serious protocol. From State secrets and nuke codes to introducing the new presidential children to their rooms. The Bushes were gracious and welcoming. The Obamas were grateful and accepting. Their sets of daughters remain bonded.

Fun Story: Michelle explained her close relationship to George W. Bush stems from the “formers” protocol. Meaning, at any state event, like a funeral, all the former US presidents are attending, she and George are always seated next to one another. Always, as that is the order. She said George loves to tell her jokes to try to get her to laugh and that he gets very antsy pretty quickly. Despite the political differences between the Bush White House and the Obama White House they are very close friends. And it is this type of relationship that TNP is looking to remind the country that we have had a respectful discourse in the not too distant past, and we should make every effort to have it again. 

Michelle then went on to reflect on America and likened it to parenting a teenager. Because America is a teenager, at best, in the history of world civilization: America thinks she knows more than she does. She takes stuff for granted. She’s a little spoiled and underparented. America’s frontal lobe is wide open. It was a very funny way of looking at our country and how the rest of the world sees us.

She said a key to America is to vote. Not voting is like “letting your grandmother run the country,” she noted. Because grandma votes. “You won’t even let her pick out your couch so why let her pick your government?” Vote. 

Progress isn’t a straight shot and we are in a dip now. We will learn the hard way. She notes that Americans are decent people. That we basically want the same things. Pay our bills, raise our kids. People aren’t expecting the world. The problem is we just don’t know each other. We are taught to be afraid of eachother.

Some nuggets worth knowing from Michelle:

• Kids are a product of their environment. The world can crush them, or lift them up. 

• No one can make you feel badly about yourself if you feel good about yourself. 

• parents are important. Come home. We will always like you here.  

• How to teach empathy? Model it. Try to model empathy. Try to model openess. try to model decency. 

• She took up knitting during the pandemic and loves it. One stitch at a time. Patiently creating. We think that big problems require bigness, but, like knitting a lot of change is really small. 

• Focus on small changes and model empathy, decency. Show it in how we hire, vote and treat all kids. 

A bouquet of unique flowers together. Souls ushered into a melting pot. Which would you rather?

More speakers from the TNP conference…

(the names in green are linked)

Ken Burns: He was the first speaker I saw and was phenomenal. His energy and alacrity were impressive. I might have used him as my favorite speaker, but Michelle Obama was, well….Michelle Obama. Mr. Burns spoke about his documentary on Mark Twain including Huckleberry Finn and how the relationship between Huck and Jim exemplifies the possibilities amongst us all. Especially in America, a country that was not founded on a religion, a race or a language, but an idea, a theory. Citizen versus peasant. 

My takeaway from Ken Burns’ interview is that he wants us to think and reflect on where we as Americans came from, where we are now and where we ought to be going.

Mark Twain quote: “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” A funny man he was! 

Kelly Corrigan: We are just not as unique as we think we are. what do we have in common? We are all born. We have a set of values that are actually opinions. We have all been naked on a doctor’s table. We have all had bad hair days, we have all been stung by rejection, shame, lust, envy outrage, fear, despair. We are all dying, we have a lot of common ground. We are all lonley as hell.

Arthur Brooks-Happiness teacher at HBS. How can one not enjoy the musings and stats of a professor from Harvard Business School that teaches second year MBA students about happiness in their second (and last) semester? By nature, humans think they’ll be happier in the future, Mr. Brooks tells us. “I’ll get stuff I want” job, money, family, status. I’ll get happiness. But, there’s a trick. Those may not be the things that bring happiness. In fact, people’s happiness declines steeply through their thirties and forties. Good news! It starts to go up fast in the 50s and rockets into our 60s and 70s. 

Brooks tells us that decisions made in our twenties are based on the wrong definition of happiness. Feelings are evidence of our happiness? No. That’s like the smell of turkey is the meaning of Thanksgiving (it’s not). Brooks says there are three elements to happiness: enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. So much more to this, but must move on.

Others…

There were so many incredible speakers but I can only hold your attention for so long! Contact me ( womenssurvivalguide@gmail.com) if you want to hear more about the experience, the music, the yoga and mediation specialists, the comedy, Judy Woodruff, Laura Ingram (yes, that one), Sarah Lockwell, Ken Mehlman (I went to college with him and we swing danced on the last night), Rainn Wilson (has quite a personal story and a new book out), Eboo Patel, the co-founders of TNP Tom Scott and Kate Brosnan, Chris Matthews, David Einhorn, Amanda Ripley, Juan Williams, Lynn Novick, Andrew Yang (who was fantastic). There was a serious session on race as well, but I cannot locate the names of all the participants and hope that they will appear on the web site at some point. It was the toughest session of the entire conference but without the discomfort how can people understand one another.

Conclusion

Someone said during the conference “Society cannot have more arsonists than architects” which I love as a concept. It’s simple and very visual. But, not everyone can be an architect. It’s expensive and time consuming to be an architect and we need more builders working together no matter what.

---

“The nantucket project has always been focused on uniting divided people, uncovering truths, sharing ideas, encouraging courage, and enabling healing and growth. But today we see the need to accelerate our efforts as conflict, division, anger, fear are growing in the US.”  -TNP2023

PS…Here is a friend of mine, Peter Bidstrup’s take on the TNP2023 experience on his blog, The Practice. Enjoy:)

1. https://www.taraross.com/post/tdih-e-pluribus-unum