Maven5Q Eleanor Anstruther

What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

I hope you read Eleanor’s answers a few times. For one, she’s a bomb writer. For another, she makes great points. The first sentence in her response to my first question, “What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?” is:

“How incredibly busy and active I am, how it feels like I’m just getting started.”

THIS…is what I am talking about. Let your freak fly, ladies…so what if you fail…so what?! The mean girls are over. It’s only you that is mean to yourself now, if anyone. Those mean girls look middle aged, too, and have had their ass handed to them along the way. We all have. Ignore them. But, YOU….you need to reel in any negative talk to yourself and let yourself go. No, not like, go to seed and stop trying…the opposite!

Whatever it is…start playing a new game (mahjong), sport (tennis), volunteer (hospitals, schools, food kitchens, POLITICS)…these are all socially oriented…and out of your home. We need to be social or we get in our heads and it’s not a good scene in there for anyone…not you, your family, your friends. Take it from me, I am by nature solitary. I struggle hugely with being social. It’s easier to be home. To paint, alone. To write, alone. To run, alone. But, you know what? Despite all that sounding like a good idea and it is…it’s too much alone time.

Do you do this to yourself? Or, are you the opposite?

My new thing I have made time for…taken time from whatever I was doing in the morning a few days a week is Mahjong. Thanks to some buddies who live near me and it is about the nicest thing that’s happen to me in a while.

Mahjong. It’s social, but the one who over shares and talks to much cannot because then she can’t focus on her tiles. So, it’s social but no overly chatty. It’s not alcohol focussed. It’s not hard (like Bridge). A very good thing. It’s as long or as short as you all want it to be!

Covid is over, ladies. Let’s get out there…

Onward

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Eleanor Anstruther

was born in London, educated at Westminster School, and distracted from finishing her degree at Manchester University by a trip to India. She travelled for the next decade until finally settling down enough to write her debut novel, A Perfect Explanation which was long listed for Not The Booker and The Desmond Elliott Prize.

She has since published her memoir, A Memoir in 65 Postcards & The Recovery Diaries, and her second novel, In Judgement of Others both of which she serialised on her Substack, The Literary Obsessive. Her latest novel, Fallout, is coming out next April 2026 published by

THE EMPRESS

Editions.

1. What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

How incredibly busy and active I am, how it feels like I’m just getting started. Until I turned fifty I had no idea that the first half century of my life had been quite so taken up with supporting, pleasing and being other people. Once I’d shaken that off, my life, and the operative word there is my, could begin.

2. What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

Body love – to love and embrace my body.

3. If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

No is a complete sentence (to quote Ann Lamott).

4. What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

The absence of the dark side of social media and mobile phones. There’s much to be positive in the tech leaps we’ve witnessed and the networks that have a sprung up as a result; I’ve reconnected with people and made new friends through social media, and satnav, much as I value the skill of map reading while driving, has been a godsend. But to see young and old heads down in those black mirrors, and the health impacts associated with addiction to them, is heartbreaking.

I loved the wild freedom we had in the 70’s. All kinds of shit went under the radar and a not all of it was okay, but with it came a self-knowledge and an independence of spirit which has served me well.

5. If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

Success! Ambition! Books! You know me, Kim, I’m all for conquering the world. I’ve come here to achieve certain goals and though I may not get all of them under my belt before I die, I’m giving them my best shot and having fun while doing it.

fin.

This is 53: Eleanor Anstruther Responds to The Oldster Magazine Questionnaire

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ICYMI

COMING UP!

I have four posts to do with midlife women’s health! Hot flashes, Pelvic Floor Therapy, and more!