“There's launching and there's nesting. Both have an affect on your home life. If you have experienced it, what are your thoughts? What do you know that might help others? Please share.”
Dear Readers,
Here is a repost from September 2023 that I think needs to be revisited since there are a lot more of you, our kids (if we have them) are older, and it’s back to school season.
I had sent out a request to readers for their reflections on the quote below. Please enjoy the responses sent! Please chime in if you have thoughts to add!
Two things stuck out to me in the responses I received. One was the word “relief.” I think “relief” is an apt term after so many years of the same schedule and working towards the goal of launching our kids. Such a strict schedule.
And the other repeating thought is the need to find a new rhythm or schedule or job. Makes sense. There are so many more sides to this story. None of the responders were single, for one.
If you are a single mom launching a kiddo please chime in! This post is edited and is live again!
See what you think and please drop a comment in below.
Reflections from recent empty nesters:
I very much appreciate this quote. I think of what a privilege it is to send kids off to college. And I had a lot of time with [my husband] pre-kids and it’s nice to get back to that -There’s a book called, Give Them Wings. Tell [them] about it.-DF Los Angeles, CA
It was a catch 22 for me. I was excited bc I didn’t have the daily schedule that I had to be responsible for the kids’ activities and carpool. I was happy to have that gone but then I sort of bounced off the walls. It was an adjustment.
I had always wanted my own space and time and then when I had it I didn’t know how to use them. I started on things like the house, changes I wanted to make. I could have new things and not worry about the wear and tear…
The other side..the amount of time with my husband…we were able to share time together without being restricted by someone else’s needs. At same time we needed to figure out our own time. He didn’t have the adjustment I had. -DS Maine
An empty nest was a big change for me. I found I had to relax into it, find my rhythm. It was also a time of new beginnings, I could be spontaneous, attend more events, see our friends on a whim during the week.
I have to say that in the very beginning dinner time was when I felt it most so we did make more dinner plans, go to a fav restaurant last minute and watch some fun TV shows. Now that I am into my third year of an empty nest, the rhythm feels good.
I love that you are doing this. I may add something more specific if it comes to me. I feel that dinner time was a bit lonely in the beginning. I think I may add that. -TA Boston
There are times I am so full of energy and there is no end to what I want to do and there are times I feel so blue and lonely. I guess it’s in my control how blue I let myself get. -AD New York
I do remember being relieved to no longer have to coordinate everything. I was traveling regularly for work then and also in charge of figuring out all the logistics for AJ when I was away, so much less to manage. And we had years of practice being empty nesters during the summers, which AJ spent with my parents in Kentucky. -MS Belmont, MA
“Empty nesting is a time to try new things again “.
Many people often look at their spouse and say now what when the kids leave. Make it a time to travel and go on dates again. -KV Buffalo, NY
As one with a wide range of children ages 38 (outstanding step son ,Aaron came into my life when he was 4 and I was 30), a 27 son Erik and a 21 year old university student, Jessica I can say I am in a great place!
I enjoy all three of my young adults and love to hear about their adventures and support them in their life challenges.
It’s now time to reconnect with hubby and have date night and new experiences !
Although every stage of life has its ups and downs this stage has yielded freedom that I have not experienced for decades.
Careers are wrapping up and a new nesting is occurring of where to live, hobbies to explore, friends to visits , adventures to be had.
Enjoy the journey -MR Brookline, MA
MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS:
I’ll put my two cents in about empty nesting with college kids…
Coming soon:
October is WSG’s women’s health issues month!
With the help of several fabulous women’s blogs I will cover Hot Flashes, Midlife Eating Disorders, Bones and Calcium, Pelvic Floor Therapy!
AND
New Maven5Q Interviews!
Cai Cai Fritzinger! Eleanor Anstruther! Mary Poyner Reed!Roda Prince!
Feel like participating? I’d love it if you did…
Here are the questions:
What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?
What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?
If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?
What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?
If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?
Mad scramble. Brain overload. Extreme peace. These are some of the byproducts of having three kids out of the house, one still in college. Who knew what sort of lovely calm a strict schedule like high school created in our home? It didn't feel calm, but it was! It was...predictable! Now, we are never sure what's happening next.
Despite kids not being here, that means we need to go to where they are to see them, times three. They do come home, but that might be when we were planning to be somewhere else. Times three. The costs to bring them home, times three. Anyway....I do love this next phase, we just haven't worked out a rhythm of any kind. Have you?