A Crapping Up of my house revisited

When your kids copious crap comes to life

I do enjoy writing about the kids coming home with all of their stuff and the change from a predictable, clean home to a home full of family. It’s with love and humor I write these little pieces. It’s fun.

You know when they say it needs to get worse before it gets better????

It also seems to be very relatable among you readers to have kids coming home, from teens to twenties (that’s as far as I have gotten) and spreading their love (dumping their junk) throughout your home. For those of us in meno-rage-gear it can be a challenge to embrace the mess and see the happy. But, just like when kids start to crawl, it’s not for that long.

Like a lot of you, I never moved home after I went to college. I graduated, drove my crap back, left for three months with friends wandering around, came back and promptly moved to DC. And that was pretty much that. When I moved back to Boston six years after I graduated college it was into my own place.

My point is that this idea of “crapping” is new to me. I NEVER would have dumped all my stuff in my parent’s front hall and left it there. Would your parents have thought that was normal? In my house, the crap would have been thrown out AND they wouldn’t have rebought it for me. That’s old school.

But, like crawling this phase of life, our kids having a lot of stuff in our homes, will end. They learn to walk soon, they will get their own place and you don’t see them a heck of a lot because they can’t afford to live near you….kidding! Sort of. But, they aren’t there and their room becomes a room. Sort of sad, really. Onward.

SPRING CRAPPING! IN THIS CORNER….

Ladies and Gentlemen, in this corner, comin’ in hot from abroad….please welcome the Multi-Sack Heart Attack, Camille’s Luggage!!!! (crowd roars)…And, in this corner all the way from Barthelona- back to her home-ah, the body baggin’ and still jet laggin’…..Annie’s bags! (crowd screams).

In this corner.....

Well, folks this is going to be quite a match. While both weighed in around the same (A LOT), there are some stark difference between the two opponents. We’re in for a real treat tonight!

Wearing navy, Camille’s luggage arrived over several days. Yes, this wise-crapper sent some luggage home from Greece! The Crapping began without her even in the country! Folks, this is a new technique in our home of three early twenty-something females. Her Dad and mom are truly impressed by the amount of crap coming home, only outdone by the cost of getting it here.

Not to be overshadowed, and don’t let the fact that she’s younger lead you to think she has less crap, Annie’s Luggage made its way home in a series of waves, as well! Folks, listen to this because we are pretty sure this has never been done before:

When her parents were visiting her in Spain, Annie, bags packed, made to give them to her mother upon the end of her trip. But, folks, I’m here to tell you, I have never seen a mother move like this one. She juked left and faked right, with a swift kick to the shin, the crap was down and the mother dove for a taxi to the airport. She was outta there! Seeya!

But, her father was still there, folks! Yes, still there and when he got back to Barthalona from a side trip to Mallorca, tricky Annie-the-crapper GUILTED her father into taking several body bags of crap on the flight with him back home. Upon arrival, poor dad had about four bags with him. He probably paid for the value of the crap twice over to fly them home. But, folks the cost to fly Annie’s crap has nothing on Camille’s crap that was sent home via DHL. Nothin’.

DING!

They’re off! Stand back if you know what’s good for you, folks. This could get messy. Camille’s enormous, black, no-name brand, first generation wheely bag, big enough to fit a full grown man inside, borrowed from her grandparents, just gave a shiver. And….It’s OPEN!

Oh, look away, folks. It’s all over. The floor. Unbelievable. Never in this house has such carnage sprung from one giant bag. But, wait. Hold on. An Amazon body bag has just plummeted from the second floor and landed on Camille’s open giant bag. It’s a blood bath! I can’t tell one from the other, folks.

Another blue body bag, and another! Oh, the humanity! Annie’s crap has covered Camille’s! The zippers and straps are flying! Undies and sweatshirts from every university in the land! Inside out, backwards, cut out necklines. Piles of jeans, sweat pants, It’s a mess. It looks like Annie’s crap will deliver the KO.

Wait a moment, folks. This just in. Three more bags have just arrived from Greece! This may be a crushing blow for Team Annie. Bam Bam Bam! The bags just burst through the front door! Giant leather boots, and an unknown number of sneakers have just sprung from the bags. Look out! People, save yourselves!

The ref has started the count, Annie’s luggage is spread all over, barely visible under the three new bags from team Camille. It’s a heartbreaker for team Annie.

(Door bell rings)

(Dog barks, loudly and frantically) (really frantically)

What’s this? Never on God’s green earth. It’s a mattress! A mattress?! What? who? How? This can’t be! The tag! The tag, ref, what’s the tag say?! Team Bebe?! Team Bebe has just arrived with an apartment full of furniture.

Team Annie is calling foul and the match organizers have been called in. Team Camille is gathered, eyeing the new competitor. It’s a melee, a riot of belongings spread for a far as we can see!

That’s it! It’s over! Team Bebe has buried her opponents in second hand furniture. There’s nothing more to be done. Just grab your loved one and hold them tight. What we have seen here today, it makes you wonder if this world is safe for future generations.

Happy Spring Crapping 2025!

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Have your cherubs come home? please share a photo to Notes, or to me…tell us about the happy anxiety you feel when your babes comes back!

PS…Here are some old Spring Crapping essays…

xo, Kim