WSG 3: Elizabeth Mayhew
Women's Survival Guide
Women's Survival Guide
Newsletter Volume 3
Quite the New Year so far, isn’t it? This week we had a peaceful transfer of power in the United States, and for that we can all be grateful. It's a funny time of year. The days are short and cold where I am. But, they are getting longer. The big holidays are over, but Valentine's Day is around the corner. We can't really go out. We can't really have a party. There's no big reason to dress up. All the more reason to?
I spoke to a number of friends this week to get feedback on my project. I'm grateful for having people in my life who will give me honest feedback and bright ideas. This is an experiment, after all, and I will try out different ideas, including the look of the thing. What do you think, a less fussy pallet? Honestly, Wix Newsletter builder is lousy and has few choices in every category (font, borders, background, design, etc). So, I'll be looking around to switch how I do this newsletter to a more flexible platform. (PS. Wix web site builder is great).
A suggestion I received this week and I would like to explore is to ask you, the reader, to reflect on the subject/category posed by the Maven of the Week. For instance, the last Maven suggestion was from Dulcie Madden Lipoma: "Advice from other people on how to handle awkward and challenging moments, in conversation or otherwise...and to try to possibly read some situations in advance so I can actually be possibly prepared."
Sadly, I may be the least likely person to answer this question for Dulcie. However, I had the chance to do some digging around and through the magazine Real Simple came up with Samuel Barondes, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California at San Francisco and author of Making Sense of People. "Thinking of people this way—recognizing that they identify with a tribe, whether or not it's yours—helps you be less inclined to judge. And know that there's no use trying to convert them to your point of view. When a polarizing issue comes up at a party or a family gathering, let it go. Make this your mantra: It's very interesting to hear your point of view; I have a somewhat different perspective."
I hope readers will participate and lend their experience and expertise to reflect on the Maven Elizabeth's subject suggestions (self-care for care givers) for the Guide this week and send them to me: womenssurvivalguide@gmail.com. Or, feel free to reflect or contribute to the past Mavens, Dulcie and Claire. What categories do you think about? Or questions you might have. I have one: Why do I seem to be getting more impatient and high strung lately?
Maven of the Week!
Elizabeth Mayhew
This week’s Maven is Elizabeth Mayhew, Lifestyle Expert and contributor to The Washington Post Home Section and NBC's Today Show. She is also the author of Flip! for Decorating published by Penguin Random House. If you haven’t had the pleasure, treat yourself to Elizabeth’s instagram: @elizabethmayhew. She whips up the most gorgeous baked goods for her newest venture, The Dutchy, an artisanal bakery in the Hudson Valley. A native of Louisville, Kentucky, she now lives between New York City and Millbrook, New York with her husband and two children.
1. What are you excited about now?
I am most excited about the new leaders of our country. Although I rarely publicly comment on politics (I only write for the Home Section of the Washington Post and do lifestyle segments for TODAY!), there is little else that matters right now other than getting our country back on track.
2. What do you do to relax?
I bake! Or cook. Or watch The Great British Baking Show—really anything to do with the kitchen (I even like to clean and reorganize it!). It’s always where I am happiest.
My son and I recently watched the new Pixar film, Soul. If you haven’t watched it, you should (don’t let the fact that it’s animated deter you as it is a very grown up story). In it, the characters are all looking for their passion--the thing that most gives them pleasure, makes them tick, and allows them to enter what they call “the zone,” the place where they are so entranced in what they are doing, that they lose themselves in the process. For me, my zone will always be rolling out dough, chopping onions, or icing a cake.
3. What books are on your bedside table?
I am currently reading The Prophets by Robert Jones, Jr.—it’s too early for me to give a review, but it is a troubling fictional account of slavery, sort of reminiscent of Toni Morrison. I just finished Hidden Valley Roadby Robert Kolker about a Colorado family in which six of their twelve children were diagnosed with schizophrenia. It is a must read for all—sad, but fascinating. It reads a bit like a medical suspense novel event though it is non-fiction. I also recently listened on Audible (I often listen to books while I am baking, driving and walking—it just makes sense to use the time wisely—like killing two birds with one stone!) to Hamnet, by Maggie O’Farrell, a fictional account of a family, living in England during the plague—the family just happens to be none other than Shakespeare’s. It’s a wonderful story of love and loss, well-read by Ell Potter, and perfect for anyone who likes historical fiction. Also on my bedside table is a collection of books I read last year, The Cazalet Chronicles by Elizabeth Jane Howard. Even though I finished the series over a year ago, I have kept them near because I enjoyed them so much. The five books recount the story of a family in England from WWI through the 50’s—think Downton Abbey but told with a level of detail like Laura Angles Wilder’s Little House on the Prairie series. Ms. Howard wrote the series in the 90s, so not sure how I missed it then, but I think I have singlehandedly been responsible for its renaissance as I have suggested it to anyone looking for an entertaining, but seemingly relevant story for our times. And if you want a good non-fiction companion to the series, read The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson about Churchill’s war years.
Lastly, I just bought George Saunders newest book TK. I am a huge fan of his work (10th of December, Lincoln in the Bardo), although I realize his sci-fi, post-modern dystopian style is not for everyone.
4. What are your New Year’s Resolutions, if you have them?
I never make resolutions; they are just not for me. I also don’t make lists of tasks (I do make grocery lists, but that’s it!). Both—resolutions and lists—put too much pressure on sticking to them. I like to be more flexible and fluid with my priorities. People often ask how I get so much done in a day, my answer: I live like I am driving a stick shift car, always shifting up or down depending on what comes my way—sometimes I shift for the uphill climb and sometimes I can just coast, but all the time I have to stay present so that I make the right choice. Also, now that my kids are grown, I don’t ever plan more than 2 weeks out, it just doesn’t work if you want to stay nimble.
5. What subject would you add to the Survival Guide and why?
When I was editor-in-chief of Woman’s Day, I started an annual issue devoted to caregiving. Most of us, whether taking care of children, parents or sick loved-ones will end up as a caregiver at one time or another. In those issues, we covered topics of self-care (so many caregivers don’t focus on their own health so they too end up suffering), insurance issues, heath care choices, etc.. There is just so much to navigate and often problems arrive under duress.
Elizabeth's Grandmother’s
Apple Cake Recipe
For topping:
2 tbsp. unsalted butter
½ tsp. cinnamon
½ cup dark brown sugar, firmly packed
¾ cup chopped walnuts
For cake:
½ cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 tsp. vanilla
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
¼ tsp. salt
1 cup sour cream
2 cups chopped apples, cores removed, skin left on
For serving:
Confectioners’ Sugar
Preheat the oven to 350 F and adjust rack to lower-middle position. Spray a large bundt pan with cooking spray.
Prepare the topping:
In a small saucepan, melt butter over medium-low heat. Remove from heat and stir in cinnamon, brown sugar, and walnuts. Combine until butter is absorbed. Set aside.
Prepare the cake batter:
In a bowl, cream butter with sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. Add vanilla. Sift together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add dry ingredients alternating with sour cream, beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Fold in chopped apples.
Pour the batter into the bundt pan and smooth top. Evenly disperse the topping over cake batter and lightly press into place. Put cake on a cookie sheet and bake for 50-60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in cake comes out clean.
Allow to cool for 5 minutes in pan. Invert onto rack and let cool completely. Dust with Confectioners’ sugar and transfer to a serving plate.
Question of The Week: Five Women's Answers
Will you wear a mask after COVID and if "yes" when will you wear a mask?
Answer 1: No. I will only wear one if an official (from Joe Biden's administration) says we should wear one.
Answer 2: Yes. I will wear one if I am sick and when I get on a plane. I always get sick when I travel.
Answer 3: I will ditch the mask as soon as possible.
Answer 4: I would wear one if I had a cold and needed to go out in public.
Answer 5: I'm not sure if I'll wear a mask after we've been vaccinated. But, if I did, it would be in situations where I was in a crowded place...subways, planes, concerts, sporting events - maybe even restaurants in certain situations.
What do you think? I'd love your feedback.
womenssurvivalguide@gmail.com
Thank you for taking the time to read the WSG Newsletter.
This newsletter is the first step toward the ultimate goal of a web-based community for women, see:
www.womenssurvivalguide.com. When enough people subscribe, the web site can work, but, until then, you can look forward to the newsletter.
Happy New Year!
xo
Kim Druker Stockwell
My current mantra is still: Remember to breathe deeply.
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