Spring Break '22, Baby!

WSG 30 Atlantis

Atlantis. Not just a lost city. It’s a found place in the Bahamas where seniors in high school like to celebrate their 14 years of schooling by getting near-naked, profoundly tanked and totally exhausted during spring break. It’s got everything you want: direct flight, sun, beach, pool, food, gambling, dancing, water park, hotels, all for a ton of dough, and these days a ton of forms to fill out. You must try it.

To be fair, my husband and I had a great time. We weren’t sure which parents were actually going so we had some nice surprise dinner companions. Last time, for my other kids, I went with a group of three moms and 9 kids. Two were mine. We left Boston March 13th and I was a bouillabaisse of anxiety. Like, so beyond a healthy level of fear that I felt sick. It was 2020 and COVID was shutting the world down. I was all for not going. But the idea of giving the kids something to remember their senior year by other than complete cancellation, was worth at least being open to the idea of going.

We had had some family stuff and needed time together, out of the house. Husband and youngest were meeting us in another Bahamian location after our three nights in Atlantis and he was game to travel. The three other moms, a luxury travel agent, a doctor and a mom who has her wits about her, were all going. Was I? I held my breath and went, but not gracefully. I was like a shard of glass.

We had a great time. These were my oldest kids and I was pretty worried about them in this party palace. Some of the other moms had older kids and said this was amazing because almost no one was there. COVID lurked around every corner. The first day everything was open and they went to the clubs and casinos, water slides etc. The second night the clubs and some restaurants were closed. The third night it was all closed except one buffet style eatery and then we left.

I was worried about how this post-ish COVID visit to Atlantis was going go. I was uptight enough last time and expected the place to be teaming with people this time. But, it really didn’t feel so crowded and it was fully booked.

Atmosphere:

Some moms and I sat at the swanky/over 18 pool rocking’ some virgin piña coladas, wanting to chat but the continuous loop of rap music was on 11.

“When I come to the club, step aside (Oh, shit!)
Part the seas, don't be havin' me in the line (Oh, shit!)
VIP, 'cause you know I gotta shine (Oh, shit!)
I'm Fergie Ferg, and me love you long time (Oh, shit!)
All my girls get down on the floor (Oh, shit!)
Back to back, drop it down real low (Oh, shit!)
I'm such a lady, but I'm dancin' like a ho (Oh, shit!)
'Cause you know I don't give a fuck, so here we go (Oh, shit!)

How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge wanna go down?
Like London London London wanna go down
Like London London London be goin' down like
How come every time you come around
My London London Bridge wanna go down?
Like London London London wanna go down
Like London London London be goin' down like” Performed and partially written by Fergie

The music has the effect of a serious buzz when combined with the volume, strong sun and the smell of teen spirit. The bass envelops your whole body and you feel, for a moment or two, like you might be cool.

But then the ice cream headache hits you from your virgin colada and you’re brought back down to the lounge chair and middle aged you. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. As my grandmother said, “better than the alternative.” She meant being dead. So, yes, aging is better than that.

California knows how to party
California knows how to party (Yes, they do)
In the city of L.A
In the city of good ol' Watts
In the city, the city of Compton
We keep it rockin', we keep it rockin'

Shake, shake it, baby
Shake, shake it, mama
Shake it, Cali
Shake it, shake it, baby
Shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it.” Written by: Tupac and Dr. Dre

Back to Atlantis. If you haven’t been there, here is a Link. Because of the COVID stuff last time I never saw the main building housing the casinos, clubs and huge aquariums. I have been to Las Vegas a number of times. This isn’t that. Atlantis feels like Russia mated with Disney. It’s so over the top in its garishness and offerings: gilded columns, marble mosaics, an aquarium bigger than any I’ve seen other than the one of the New England aquarium. But, it feels like a bunt (baseball reference). Meaning, it isn’t a full swing at the casino world, or a full swing at the luxury shopping or a full swing at an affordable place to be or an exclusive place to be. It’s a tasting menu of what’s possible. The water park, however, does feel like a full swing and a grand slam!

Water Slides

“The Abyss begins with a staggering 50-foot, near-vertical drop through complete darkness within the Power Tower. Totaling 200 feet long, this thrilling body slide ends as guests splash through waterfalls and into The Cenote - an underground lair of prehistoric fish.” Description from the Atlantis Bahamas web site about the water slide

All I could think of as I got the water out of my nose and mouth after I landed in a heap like a rag doll was: what kind of insurance do these people have to carry to have a ride like that?

I mean, really.

As I said before, nothing was opened when I was there last time after the first day. Truth be told, I didn’t really want to go on the water slide. But this time I was more game to do things and I’ve been feeling pretty brave lately. Something about the thought that ‘in ten years I’ll be 63 and will I be psyched to do X?’ and that has gotten me to get more frisky with risk(y). Anyway, this trip Pel and another dad went to do the super scary water slide. When they returned Pel was his usual self (observing, quiet) and the other dad was super animated. He was like a kid. It was really scary! And he was so amazed that he had taken the drop and threw caution to the wind. He talked about it the rest of the day. Clearly, the experience had left an impression! It made my risk whiskers twitch. If he can do it, I can.

All in bathing suits with nothing else.

We climbed the “power station” tower that really looks like something out of a dystopian Batman movie. It was a lot of stairs to the full height. At the top was the line of people waiting to go. There were little kids. Tons of high school boys. Some parents with kids. So, couldn’t really back out if this is who is doing the ride. There were body types of all description. The line took quite a while. Did someone get stuck? No. Someone dropped their sunglasses in the landing tank. We were lectured about not bringing anything on the slide and to cross our arms and over our chests and to cross our ankles. And to stay that way on the slide.

We got closer. The family ahead of us was gearing up. The little girls looks worried. People tend to scream all the way down and some of the sounds aren’t super joyful. The family decided Dad would go first, then the youngest, who wanted to go after Dad, then the next girl then Mom to make sure the other kid went. The red light sat there being red for so long. Finally it switched to green. Time to Go! He held the bar and threw himself in the tube. Big yell! The little one gets ready. Green light. She steps up to the bar, lowers herself, lies back and lets go. Not a peep! Not one sound out of the littlest kid. The older sister is next. She holds the bar, lies back, lets go. We could hear a blood curdling scream. Like super scary. But she must have been OK because her green light switched to red quickly. We were next.

I went first. It makes my heart race just thinking about it and my palms sweat. I step into the shallow pool while the light is red. The light goes green. Ok. I can do this. Plop down, let go of the bar and off I go. Skiing is the closest thing to feeling nearly out of control and going fast, in my life. But, I can slow it down when I feel scared. There aint no slowing down on a water slide and you’re going fast. You are not in control. I’m sure you can imagine sloshing around in a dark tube, nothing to see so you close your eyes. Arms crossed over your chest, tight. Legs straight, ankles crossed, tight. And no way to slow it down. The water is planing into your face and you can’t change that. It’s a baby waterboarding. You hope it’ll stop but it won’t until it’s over. The slide is at a very steep angle so you have the sensation of falling. It’s not a sensation most people are used to experiencing as an adult. At least not on purpose.

Water jets come at you from the side to slow the pace. And it’s over. You shoot out and land like a piece of old fruit. Plop, into this underground cave, surrounded by a creepy, dark aquarium. The floor is soft and squishy, like a fat man’s belly. The landing pool is maybe fifteen feet long. You swim to the end where the steps are. Get out and you kind of stand there. Get your bearings and walk towards the light and the stairs up. As I said before, all I could think of was how does this exist? The legal issues must be mind blowing. But it does exist and I am so glad it does. I survived the water slide, baby.

A Recipe You Won’t Hate: Curry Chicken Salad from Ina Garten

• 3 whole chicken breasts, bone-in, skin-on

• 3 tablespoons olive oil

• kosher salt, to taste

• fresh ground black pepper, to taste

• 1 1⁄2 cups mayonnaise

• 1⁄3 cup dry white wine

• 1⁄4 cup major grey's chutney

• 3 tablespoons curry powder

• 1 cup medium-diced celery (2 large stalks)

• 1⁄4 cup green onion, chopped, white and green parts (about 2 onions)

• 1⁄4 cup raisins

• 1 cup whole roasted salted cashews

Directions:

• Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

• Place the chicken breasts on a sheet pan and rub the skin with olive oil. Sprinkle liberally with salt and pepper. Roast for 35 to 40 minutes, until chicken is just cooked. Set aside until cool enough to handle. Remove the meat from the bones, discard the skin, and dice chicken in large bite-size pieces.

• For the dressing, combine the mayonnaise, wine, chutney and curry powder, and 1 ½ teaspoons salt in the bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade. Process until smooth.

• Combine the chicken with enough dressing to moisten well. Add the celery, scallions, and raisins, and mix well. Refrigerate for a few hours to allow the flavors to blend. Add the cashews and serve at room temperature.

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That all for now. Glad to have avoided Molly-drink-drugging in Atlantis and everyone is safe and happy. It’s a good way to enter into Spring! Next time I have an interview with a financial advisor and if you thought you had it under control, you may realize you don’t. I know I don’t. Anyone have any questions for her? Please comment below!

Next coffee….first Tuesday April 5th, 9 Am, at Lucie, Boston.

xo k