She quit drinking
New Eleanor clip to discuss
Please fill that empty little heart with a click. Turn it from clear to red. ❤️
“There’s nothing I don’t know about alcohol…that relationship is done. Now I’m having a relationship with sobriety.”
There is something about the way Eleanor Anstruther said the above quote that hit home for me. “There is nothing I don’t know….that relationship is done…” It’s elegant. It’s mature. It’s honest.
It isn’t dramatic: “I was a damn wreck and alcohol was ruining my life, I had to stop or die”. Or, blasé “I can take it or leave it.” Just… I just don’t like it anymore. For now.
Eleanor’s summary of her break up with drinking is self aware in a way we in our fifties hope to be about everything in our lives. Shouldn’t we be experienced enough to be intentional at this point? It’s easier said than done.
Drinking isn’t just an activity. It’s a lifestyle.
I get the idea that for Eleanor, alcohol wasn’t wreaking havoc on her life but, like most, it wasn’t helping it either. A lot of us feel that way in midlife. But, drinking is the Siren’s Song. Alcohol is celebrated everywhere! It’s like a Barbie Doll with all of its accessories: bars, glasses, bottles, trays, lots of mirror, silver and crystal. You don’t use those items for a glass of milk. But, maybe we should?
Alcohol: It’s fun, it’s sexy, it’s ritual, it’s bonding, it’s a means to an end, it’s a means to a beginning….it’s a darling of the media.
Show me an old movie or BritBox show that doesn’t have everyone in it with a pint or a glass of wine at some point. Or, a celebration that didn’t have a toast with champagne flutes? Or, a pleasure trip without cocktails before dinner. Or, a dinner party without wine glasses on the table. If not-drinking is hard for you, all of these events can be torture.
Eleanor introduces a different take on drinking. “That relationship is done.” She allows herself to revisit drinking alcohol if she wants, but she doubts she will because the sober world is fascinating to her.
MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS …I’ll start:)
Where are you in your midlife relationship with alcohol?
What do you think of what Eleanor said?
THINGS THAT CAUGHT MY FANCY THIS WEEK:
This book….
In Judgement of Others by Eleanor Anstruther
And, this book….
Quickies by Heather Bartos, MD
This room….
This topic….
And, this topic….
xoxo
Kim
What do we think about changing our relationship with drinking the way Alisa has? Personally I find if refreshing because the mental attitude is different from the what I normally here. But, make no mistake she will tell you she had struggled as seen in some of her posts. Let me see if I can find one....
oh, I've definitely struggled. There are moments when I've had a glass of wine to soothe a very frayed nervous system at a dinner party, but it always comes at a cost to sleep quality... and then when I think about relationships... I never want to be Liz Taylor on a Tuesday night... one cocktail away from an Albee play... it's far too exhausting at my age. Better to savor the elegance of sobriety and sleep!