Circle of friends in Summer

Aging and friends

Aug 11, 2025

It’s that time of year when all of your friends are scattered about. Maybe you have Summer friends in a Summer place, and that’s cool. But I like to think your “home” friends are the real thing. Home friends see you when life isn’t a beach and you look more like a pasty frog than a mermaid. Your home friends know your kids better (oh dear). They know the ups and downs of your marriage. They see you at the grocery store, on the street, at pick up, at the gym. These are not romantic places. Not like in Summer.

Your Summer friends see you in really fun places. The beach! The farmer’s market! The adorable candy store! The new outdoor patio with party lights ethnic food restaurant! The pool! The tennis court! The golf course! Surfing! Fishing! Hiking! The ice cream parlor! The adorable movie theater! The real antique store! The ferry!! Laughing! Driving a convertible! A pick up truck! With a dog! You don’t even have a dog! You’re about to freaking explode with Summer happiness and your Summer friends are too!

Your Summer friends think you and your spouse are bronzed Gods of Perfection. And SO FUNNY! And so interesting! Who knew ?! (Not your Home friends, that’s for sure.) Because, when you’re in your Summer Place, you are all those things! Strutting around in your white linen pants like Gatsby, donning a floppy hat (covers the skunk), just a smooch of makeup because really, babe, you don’t need any. Wink.

You’re relaxed because you’re drinking and your kids are either A. not there because they are working in the City and can only come occasionally or B they are there but not there because you don’t know where they are most of the time but you’re sure they are safe because the Summer Place has dozens of eyes on them. You’re so relaxed you might wet yourself. Good thing you’re in the ocean!

Your Home friends see you as you are most of the year: exhausted, over scheduled, undersexed, irritated, pasty. You try to be fun. You do. There are parties and going out to dinner and some movies. But, if you have a few margaritas to liven things up a bit…well, your next day is going to be terrible. That is not true, at all, in your Summer Place.

You know that! And, yet? You go ahead and drink the second and maybe even a third because it dulls the anxiety you were feeling when you sat down at the restaurant. The first drink you didn’t even notice. You probably should have guzzled a glass of water (and not the drink) but, too late. The second drink you wanted because you forgot to enjoy the first one and the third drink is because you all got talking in that way you do after two drinks so you order a third. You won’t sleep, maybe for a few days. You will feel horrendous, maybe for a few days. You will do it again next week, maybe even over the weekend. Repeat until next Summer when you never feel hungover.

That’s why I like to give the Home friends the nod for being really good friends. There is a lot more heavy lifting for the “Home” friends. You’re not as much fun as a Summer friend, to be honest.

My husband and I have been Home this Summer. No sexy Summer vibes for us, yet. In case you didn’t know, for those of us with an empty nest (during the school year) September is the new July and October is the new August and, THANK GOD. We have a kid at home from college working and have had a lot of family in town staying with us. That’s a lot of fun! But, it’s different than that Summer vibe. We will have ours as more of an early Fall thing.

Female friends, home.

This week five of us happen to be in town when a friend sent out a text and said come on over to have a drink and nibbles in her new garden. I love these mid Summer get togethers. There is something special about seeing my Home friends in the middle of the hot months when the tourists are many and so are the parking spaces. Everyone goes away this time of year.

I’ve known this group of women for a long time. All are neighbors, some my kids went to nursery school with, some my kids went to high school with some I know through one of the other women. Some have kids at home, some don’t. We sat in that safe space and talked about anything and everything for a few hours. Candle lit, we looked sun-kissed and happy. We made plans and went our separate ways..until the Fall.

My call to action is plan a fun ladies night wherever you are!

Happy August!

Meet me in the comments:

Do you have Summer Friends different from your Home Friends?

What other amazing Summer place do you see your friends? The pool hall? Rodeo? Lake?

Coming Wednesday
Donna Druchunas

“I had lost my writing voice after the 2016 elections and I find that now it is more natural for me to express my ideas with more drawings and fewer words.”