A safe space for controversy? Meet Meghan Daum and The Unspeakeasy
100th WSG! Musings about Spring and more
Can you believe it? 100 WSG posts to you! A walk back through time that started in COVID…here’s the first! Thank you to Claire Messud for letting me interview her, never having interviewed anyone. We’ve come a long way, baby! Thank you Virginia Slims for a spot on slogan for women 👍.
MUSINGS
How are we, Guiders? Too cute? I thought we deserved a nick name and maybe a jacket or at least a T shirt. “Survivors” seems like a downer, indicating strife. We aren’t here to feel down! As Meghan Daum says in our video chat below, we can do that all by ourselves. Too True.
It’s lighter out, later. That’s nice. I know people have opinions on day light saving but, I don’t really. I just don’t like dark mornings. Or dark afternoons. Anyway, we can delight in knowing that Spring is here! (Which means it will snow soon in New England.) Hurray! Time for my favorites, Daffodils. And more light. But, I’ve said that. Spring is also a time for graduations! We have two this year! Pretty soon I will be writing about what it’s like two have kids out of college, and let me be frank, Guiders, I’m a bit worried.
Having kids in college is like having them in boarding school. They are away from home but have dependable vacations for which you can plan family fun together. Without those vacations (and aren’t there an awful lot of vacations in college?), then what? You’re at the mercy of the measly two weeks they get at starter jobs. And whoa be us if they have friends or significant others they want to go have fun with. I just hope they work somewhere with people and not in their home. Alone. With a screen. And blue light glasses. I wrote about that here.
Onward!
I have changed the way I do my interviews, have you noticed? Before I would talk to my interviewee on the phone a few times. First to get to know them. Then I would send them questions to think about for our next conversation. During that conversation I would scribble like mad, taking down their thoughts and answers and after I would type up the interview. Then I would clear up a few fuzzy details and facts, and voilá! The interview. But, I like the Zoom format for its candor. The transcribing process can be cumbersome.
What do you think? The old all written interview? Like this one about Gillian Miniter and Bridge. Or the combo with the Zoom/podcast, 5 Questions and a Recipe You Won’t Hate? Take the poll! I am curious! Thank you!
MAVEN OF THE WEEK!
MEGHAN DAUM!
Meghan Daum is very cool. She looks cool, for one. And she has an appetite for everything that is relevant in todays world, the good the bad and the insane. She has written six books including The Unspeakable: And Other Subjects of Discussion, Selfish, Shallow & Self-Absorbed: Sixteen Writers on the Decision Not To Have Kids, among others. She writes two blogs/podcasts A special place in Hell and The Unspeakable: click here for her About page…it’s extensive and impressive.
As a journalist, Meghan was trained to report the facts with objectivity. All journalists are trained to do that, I assume? In interviewing her I felt her frustration with the current deep lack of civility in discourse and worse with the cancel culture that has swept the nation on all fronts. We can barely say anything to anyone without “paying” for it somehow. It was not always like this.
We, as Americans, struggle to allow for differing opinions from our own in our Internet distracted world. We seem not to be able to focus long enough to allow for a person to fully express why they hold certain beliefs. And then they in turn cannot allow for the listener to express their contrary opinion. People do have reasons for what they believe. One issue is that people are less able to focus, and for less time. Additionally, all of the Internet news they are reading is custom to their beliefs and do not reflect differing opinions in a kind, respectful manner.
There absolutely is a change in who is coming to the United States. But that has always been true. People have always been pissed about immigration. The biggest difference now is that we have the Internet and mass dissemination of news to millions of people by sources that have a point of view, stirring the pot. They have created chaos 24/7. This is what the Unspeakable and Unspeakeasy were formed to address- how to be civilized and talk about issues that are controversial like abortion, transsexuality, politics, Israel/Gaza with people who disagree with you. Meghan has created a forum for women (with the occasional coed opportunity like this one coming up) to speak freely and safely, together. Let’s hear all about it!
OUR INTERVIEW!
FIVE QUESTIONS FOR MEGHAN!
What did you want to be when you grew up?
When I was very young I wanted to be Cher from The Sonny and Cher Show. Later I briefly wanted to be a dolphin trainer. Eventually, I realized I had no skills other than writing and playing the oboe. So I took the path of lesser resistance and became a writer.
What are you excited about now?
I am excited about expanding the offerings of The Unspeakeasy. In addition to offering at least nine retreats this year, including our first ever coed retreat, we’re going to be launching a series of courses in writing and beyond.
What books are on your bedside table?
Let’s see . . . Abigail Shrier’s new book Bad Therapy, Lionel Shriver’s forthcoming novel Mania, Naomi Klein’s Doppelganger, Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep, my friend Jody Gelb’s gorgeous memoir She May Be Lying Down But She May Be Very Happy, Alice Carrier’s memoir Everything/Nothing/Someone and How To Die: An Ancient Guide To The End of Life, by the stoic philosopher Seneca. (Just for fun!)
What do you do to relax?
I’m in a phase now with my business and various projects that I work more or less constantly, so I don’t do a lot of relaxing. But I guess I’d say the closest I come to relaxing is building a fire in the fireplace and putting on some music and just kind of spacing out. I love winter in southern California because it can be chilly at night and a fire seems appropriate. And I love having a fireplace.
What category/subject would you add to the Guide?
Anything about money is always good, but looks like you have that covered. I don’t know . . . death? End-of-life issues? So many of us are caring for aging parents and/or contemplating our own demises. As depressing as it is, it’s almost really important to talk about and I find that people appreciate it.
A RECIPE YOU WON’T HATE!
FROM MEGHAN: My favorite recipe is anything someone else cooks for me. I never cook. I consider this a public service.
I want to come up with what I would cook for Meg if she were coming to my house…I’ll do that in a note later this week!
Much warmth and appreciation for reading my 100th!!! WSG. As the kids say “Let’s Go!”
Conversation is so important. It’s got to be tough to be a true journalist these days— which means being objective. I admire Meaghan. She’s a dying breed. Bari Weiss (also on Substack) is an objective journalist.
Hi, Kim! New subscriber here. Thanks for the Stitch & Bitch shout-out! As I've started telling people, stitching is optional but bitching is mandatory.♥️♥️♥️ Come on by😁