Eldercare Story 3: A fender bender brought them to their senses
Eldercare Storie #3
COMING SOON! Interview with menopause specialist Dr Heather Bartos! Please submit any questions to me for our chat:)
I have questions like: I hear I have to go off of HRT at some point if I go on it…that stinks! Then what?! What are your questions?
Dr. Heather Bartos: SO WHAT’S MY STORY?
WELL, MY PATH TO BECOMING ONE OF THE NATION’S TOP FIVE MENOPAUSE EXPERTS (ENDORSED BY NONE OTHER THAN OPRAH AND MARIA SHRIVER!) HAS BEEN FILLED WITH UNEXPECTED TWISTS, BIG A-HA MOMENTS, AND A FIERCE DETERMINATION TO REDEFINE WOMEN’S HEALTH AT EVERY STAGE—UP TO AND INCLUDING MENOPAUSE….
WSG 121
Eldercare Story #3
Imagine. Someone whose diapers you changed tells you you have to move. It’s for your own good. And if that argument doesn't land…it’s for their sanity. You living in your home is making them crazy. Why? Because you have lost your marbles and everyone related to you is worried and always running to your aid when things go sideways.
We GenXers and young Boomers are a decade or two away from that being our reality with our kids and family. Some of us will definitely be in a position where our kids are worried about our safety living alone. How are you preparing for that period of time when it comes? How are you dealing with your own parents now? Do you talk about it? It’s not easy, is it.
Today’s story has a positive spin. Sometimes it takes a negative event to cause a positive change. Imagine if we could just set a date and plan to seek an eldercare solution for ourselves so we don’t have to stress our kids out. Nah. What kind of challenge would that be?
Do you have a positive parent-care story you are willing to share? Please do!
Coming soon!
Paid subscribers are going to get a video with my own Fall edits I bought this season! It’s fun! It’s new! And it’s only for you (Premium Subscribers)!
Today, we hear K’s story of parental care.
What began as a stressful transition into assisted care became a good move for her parents and a bonding experience for her and her brother I’ll let her words tell you the rest:
K’s Story
Summary: Stubborn parents have brought her closer to her brother.
​​My parents always said they wanted to age in place, and in true New England fashion, they said they wanted to be carried out in a box. I used to give my father goals: in two years, please have selected a retirement home- assisted living place, he just ignored me.Â
But things have a way of working out. After a car accident that injured the car but not my father, my brother and I realized that if our father cannot drive, our parents cannot live in the country alone. First, you cannot really get by without a car. But more to the point, my parents were losing their short term memory so much that they were feeding the dog extra meals, had to write down their medication doses and any important task. There were notes all over the house that served as reminders.Â
We started looking for people and ways to help them. We had an interview with a full-time caregiver who seemed to have excellent local references. The night before her interview however, my brother did a better Google search than I had and it turns out she had lost her nurse’s license in another state for taking prescription drugs from the hospital where she worked.Â
Yikes!Â
Our next step had much better results. A friend of mine in Boston heard about my troubles with my parents. She had a close friend so pleased with the assisted living place where her parents moved to that after her parents passed away, her friend started working there, just to help other older people and their families. It turns out this magical place was in the town next to my parents’ small town. It is an independent place that resembles a country inn. My parents settled in well, and they have lived there for over a year now. Being freed of any responsibilities for meals, cleaning, medicine etc, has allowed them to just be themselves, and now they do not have to cover up their memory loss.
My brother and I have grown closer through this process of moving our parents. Although we have very different daily lives and interests, our love for our parents has brought us into regular communication, and we can rely on one another. We have divided up responsibilities, I handle the legal and financial affairs, and he focuses on their medical care and maintaining their house which we have kept as a place to stay when we visit them in the assisted living place. We have not disagreed over anything of significance, which is a blessing.Â
Quite a story I think. I especially like the part where the parents are relieved of their daily tasks that no doubt caused them stress and perhaps some embarrassment. They can just be themselves. Thank you K for sharing your story!
A few of my favorite things!
Please come!
October 10th….this Thursday! 6-9 PM, 126 Charles st Boston ma on beacon hill!! My art opening!
Be sure to rsvp! Info@ouimillie.com
A new book by WSG Maven, Rose Prieto! Pretty Girl Playbook (LOVE the title) is a step by step, no nonesense guide to skin care for all ages. She tailors instructions depending on the product and the age (no retinol or c serum under 17).
I am interviewing her again this week! So stay tuned for an updated interview…here is one from the past!
Get ready a Fall wardrobe update with WSG Maven Cai Cai from the Copper Shed LLC!
-Interview with menopause specialist Dr Heather Bartos! Please submit any questions to yours truly for our chat:)
-Next Zoom gathering: October 21st at 7pm EST! Link to follow!
Do you have an elder care story like K’s to share? Meet me in the comments or Notes or email me womenssurvivalguide@gmail.com!
xo
k