We need to move the book club gathering to Thursday June 25, 10Am, The Colonnade Hotel Roof. Book Fallout by .

Next book let’s do Stranger by Belle Burden!!!

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Are you experiencing the joys or sorrows of elder parents?

I am lucky to have four healthy parents and three generally launched kids. But things change in a dime, don’t they?

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ps I’m in Ireland and plan to do a fun post about the trip!!

I also have been slow on my usual Spring cleaning assault on the house. It’s been so gray and rainy for months (it feels like that, anyway). Now it’s super hot and muggy…do I sound whiny??

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(More) THOUGHTS ON KIDS GRADUATING COLLEGE

Anyone have a kid graduating college this year? Without a job? With a job? I don’t remember people in my generation graduating with jobs. Maybe I am glossing over that memory. I didn’t have a job. I know my friends didn’t either. We all temped and then got low paying jobs as receptionists or secretaries. But, we made enough to afford rent with roommates and the yard-long beers we enjoyed on the weekends.

I am trying to figure out what I am feeling…….

See you below the pay wall for videos, fun ideas and reflections on new college graduates at home. The pay wall is invisible to you if you are part of my Premium-Lady Squad! (non-ladies allowed, too)

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Come To Your Senses

At 45, my life looked perfect on paper, with a career, husband, three children, and a lovely home. But die-hard habits of control and self-sacrifice had left me exhausted, resentful, and trapped in chronic back pain.

Desperate for a change, I took a 10-day Italian language course that called up an adventuresome, fun loving version of myself I had forgotten about. That experience catapulted me onto a twenty-year trust walk of allowing myself to move towards what felt good—what I truly wanted—without having a specific plan or goal. I learned to feel what I was feeling and embrace all of myself, even the parts of myself I had always wanted to get rid of. And gradually, I reinvented my life.

Now at 69, I have my own practice, Come To Your Senses, working with capable, high-achieving women who find themselves stuck in a life that just isn’t working in some way. By tuning into the nervous system, they uncover both the old patterns that are keeping them stuck and new creative possibilities they hadn’t allowed themselves to imagine.

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What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

That I could be living a life I couldn’t have even dreamed of twenty years ago.

That I would be living pain-free after suffering a decade of back pain that doctors said was untreatable. That I would have learned to speak fluent Italian and lived for fifteen years in Italy where earned professional certification as an international wine sommelier in Milan (in Italian) and became recognized as an expert on natural Italian wine through my blog www.uncorkedinitaly.com.

That I would have trained as a teacher of body-centered practices—meditation, yoga, conscious dance (and that included learning to DJ at 60). That I would have certified in Gabor Maté’s somatic approach to healing trauma.

That I would live in Ojai, CA. That I would have three grown children, married and living their best lives, and three grandchildren with one more on the way. That I would have written a memoir and be about to publish it.

That I would have created Come To Your Senses. That I would feel the most alive I’ve ever been and love my life and work more than I ever have.

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

See above. I just keep embracing the next thing. The most recent thing has been starting a Substack.

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

You’re on the right track. Everything you’re dreaming is possible. Know that you are loved and supported beyond your wildest imaginings. And whatever you are seeking is also seeking you. Trust what you know to be true for you and allow your life to unfold in unexpected ways.

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

Summer reading lists and time to read and read and read.

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

Sharing my experience in ways that allow others to create the life they’ve always dreamed of but didn’t believe they could have. Because witnessing another person do that makes my life meaningful. It is the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever experienced.

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’s web site!

Very FIRST! In person and via zoom….

Book Club Event of ’s book Fallout is public!

June 24, Wednesday, 10Am

The Colonnade Hotel, Boston, 120 Huntington Avenue | phone: (617) 424-7000

The Rooftop Pool, weather permitting or Lucie (Hotel restaurant ground level), if cold and rainy. Parking available.

Eleanor will be beaming in from France via video and taking questions!!!

RSVP via button below

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Marie Kondo called and she wants her book back. She said “You don’t deserve to have a copy of my book in that pig stye you call your house!” I said, “Marie. Marie. You are looking at a pig stye, it’s my garden. My garden is muddy and not looking too good, like a pig stye. But, my home isn’t too bad, it’s just time to Spring Clean and Decrap the House!”

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Marie was silent. Clearly thinking about my house and how to get her book back. Then Martha Stewart called on the other line and said we needed to talk. I said “Marty, I have Marie on the other line and she’s chewing me out about my home and garden. She says she wants her book back.”

There was silence from Martha, well, almost silence. I could hear the purr of one of her Persians and clicking sound of her speed knitting. “It’s “Martha” to you. Conference me in” she said.

So I did.

“Marie.”

“Martha.”

“Yes! Look at us, all on the line together! Marie Kondo and Martha Stewart! You two have a lot in common! Have you met before?”

The two responded in unison “Yes.” Their tone gave me the chills. This might not go well.

“Marie, I hear you want your book back from our friend here. Do you make a habit of harming the neediest? Or, is your ego so huge you can’t stand that this one is a failure that you cannot improve on with your sweet little book? I mean, honestly, Marie. You need to let your hair down once in a while and live among the masses.”

“Me. Let my hair down, Martha? Oh, that’s rich coming from the ice queen craft lady. Are you going to crochet me death? What, are you going to decorative paint a gardener for her? Or, cook her a way to be more organized? Good luck with that! No one can follow your recipes, anyway. They’re awful. Everyone knows that.”

“Marie! You’re such a bitch! You wouldn’t know something ‘good’ if it bit you on your tiny nose! You’d have thrown it in the trash! Your answer to everything by the way…I’ll show you what sparks joy for me!”

“Ladies! Oh no! Let’s not fight! Please! Martha, stop making that gesture. Really! I had no idea you two didn’t get along! You’ve both meant so much to me throughout my life! Martha, I had a subscription to your magazine from the beginning and have kept so many! I bought from your catalog, I used your little recipes that came from the magazine religiously!

Marie! I haven’t known you for as long as Martha, but the impact of your beautiful little book! I bring it out several times a year to encourage me to declutter and consider what is important to me. It’s next to my bed, Marie!

Ladies, you represent the best in modern home making! We all look up to you and all that you’ve accomplished. You’re an inspiration not only as home makers but as business people. Martha, you built an empire! Marie you have created an art form!”

“Please don’t compare me to that jail bird! Is anything ever enough for you, Martha?! You and your collections of things, pets, houses, gardens, crafts! The clutter and the fur! Disgusting.”

“Marie, I’d like to wipe that calm demeanor right off of your face. I’d like to put more than a hair out of place on that pretty little head, Marie. Yes I would. And don’t accuse me of being a jail bird! I didn’t do anything that most guys haven’t done. At least I spent my time teaching people to knit. I feel good about my time in the big house and I lost some weight and dried out, too. Never felt better if I’m honest. But, thanks for mentioning it. Cow.”

I realized I was not going to fix this with kind words. I needed real action fast. I took out my phone and texted an LA number…and soon I had an incoming call. “Ladies! Hold on a min…I have to answer this call”

I clicked over and said, “Please, you’ve got to do something! They’re at each other’s throats and they are starting to threaten each other!” She answered: “Patch me in”

“Gwyneth.” The other two said in unison.

“Oh, you have her number?” I said.

“Duh” they both said in unison again.

Marie said “Well, well, well if it isn’t the bimbo-nepo-baby. Done anything all on your own lately, Gwynnie?” She smirked.

Martha added, “How’s the aging thing, Gwennie? Not looking like a little rose bud these days, are you? Going to talk about your V-JJ for attention, are we? That candle, puleeese. How disgusting.”

Marie says “Too right, Marts. How much attention DO you need woman-child?”

Martha says “Precisely, Mar. Precisely. When you don’t have actual talent….”

Gwyneth replied” Listen you old cows, hang it up already. You two are so out of touch you’re a Blackberry. Who wants to listen to two uptight judgy OCD bores, like you?!”

"Listen, Blythe and Bruce’s child, why don’t you go and find another thing no one needs and sell it? You’re so good at selling yourself…” as she rolled her eyes that ended in a side smile.

“You literally copied what I did, only less well. Way to be original.” Martha noted.

Marie said, “Mart, you are too right. What a faker wanna-be! And I loathe your aesthetic, Gwyneth, it’s so LA lame.”

Martha chirped “Mar Mar, I love your spirit. Who knew! You, my friend, are the bombest of the bombs in home care organization. The discipline you have! It’s a total turn on. I doff my bespoke garden cap to you!”

“Mart, which of your houses are you in? Shall we grab a matcha? I can send my jet for you.”

“Mar Mar, let’s take this to a more private line and plan. Caio, Gwyneth.” And they were gone.

“Well, that was weird. I’m really sorry about that Gwyn. They totally ganged up on you. I didn’t see that coming! So, about my spring cleaning. Any advice? Gwyn? Hello?

“It’s Gwyneth. And, no.” Then silence.

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Thoughts on who is the household GOAT?

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ICYMI

PICKING A LATE JUNE DATE FOR BOOK CLUB!

LOCAL IN BOSTON ON THE ROOF OF THE COLONNADE HOTEL!

FALLOUT by IS THE BOOK!

STAY TUNED!!!

I’m the author of Love Child: A Memoir of Family Lost and Found, a novel, many screenplays and articles, and four books for writers including Creative Writing: The Imaginative Storm Method and Write What You Don’t Know: Imaginative Storm Writer Training. I’m currently working on a book about imaginative intelligence, which is the subject of a TEDx talk I’ gave on March 20 in Asheville, NC—even though I live in Taos, NM.

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What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

That I feel more like myself than I ever did, though I look less like myself (on bad days). I almost answered “Not giving a shit,” but that’s not true. I do give a shit—just not about what I used to give a shit about: viz., other people’s expectations and opinions of me. I care deeply about living my life well, which means a number of things: bringing as much happiness to others as I can by being generous and open; staying vulnerable and not getting stuck in my own judgments; doing what I can to make the world a better place and not churning around over the dreadful things happening in the world that I can’t affect; doing my work so that I leave something of value after I’m gone; and supporting my son as best I can as he makes his way through life.

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

Not feeling sorry for myself when I hurt. On the whole I love being older, but I don’t love the various aches and pains that go with it.

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

Twenty years ago I was 41. I had a three-year-old son whom I desperately wanted to make happy, but didn’t seem to be able to. Much of the time it seemed as if he was walking around under a cloud—which I now understand was the result of wonky brain chemistry that goes under the name of social anxiety disorder. As he explained to me recently, he is frequently in a state of fight/flight/freeze, and has to expend energy to overcome that. When he was little, he couldn’t explain it and I couldn’t understand what the matter was.

Could I have tried to talk to him about it back then? Would it have been successful? I don’t know. But I wish I’d tried. If not at age three, then at five or six. I just took it as my failing, and probably my own stress made things worse.

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

Bookstores to browse in. They haven’t gone completely, but these days you’re lucky if you’ve got one in your neck of the woods.

Basic manners, like holding the door for a stranger and acknowledging a driver who lets you in.

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

I feel like I finally know what my work is, so now I want to focus on doing it. I’ve written a memoir and a novel and four books for writers, and I hope soon to finish a fifth. But my primary project is a book about imaginative intelligence, that brings together psychology, neuroscience, theory of mind, culture, and—for want of a better word—self-help. I’m fascinated by how the brain works, and I want to help people understand their own selves better.

Would you like to do the Maven5Q? Please do! Click below….

ICYMI

Some blogs you will enjoy!

Stock Fiction

This IS My Beautiful Life

Here I sit…

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A Moment Every Author Deserves 💜✨

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Throat strangling, lung collapsing summer humidity. The sweat, the mood, does He want everyone to know what it’s like to be a 55-year-old woman…

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a month ago · 31 likes · 44 comments · Good Humor by CK Steefel

A friend of mine from NYC sends this out every year and I forward it to loved ones…it really makes me laugh. I hope it makes your day that much more fun!!

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Writing to you from my temporary world headquarters, a bed…in Wisconsin! My youngest is graduating today so it’s official, she’s done with college! It has been a fun family event!

I know a lot of you have kids graduating, too! It’s our age-time of life. The milestones that built up when we were younger (school, job, marriage, kids, school…) slowed down for the past twenty years but now they seem to be ramping up again. Kids graduate, get jobs, get married, have kids, they go to school, etc. Deep breath. I am just going to enjoy today, Annie’s graduation.

What does it mean when your youngest or only graduates?

Actually, I am asking.

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With my youngest graduating college I am happy to move on to the next phase of life. I can’t go back, so I might as well move forward. I am looking forward to the kids getting into things beyond the social aspects of young twenty-somethings. You know what I mean…

But I am scared, too.

We are already experiencing the next phase with our other kids. They can’t be there on demand anymore. They have lives and jobs now. This is new and I am not sure I like it!

But, now I am talking out of both side of my mouth. I say I want them to have lives and jobs, but I am not happy if they cannot be present because of lives and jobs. I’m not being fair, am I? I’m a mother, I never said I had to be fair and reasonable all the time. I’m not. That’s Pel’s job.

I may get even less fair and reasonable as time goes on. Definitely, less reasonable.

Happy Mother’s Day to you and your’s. I have lots to be grateful for.

Do you like the logo? I made it…Let’s read a book. For our first book I am going to name Fallout by Eleanor Anstruther. I did a big post last week when I hosted her book launch in Boston. The poll said late June is when people would like to meet-in person and via zoom. Here is a link to the book! Details to follow!

What books would you like to see on our reading list?

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ICYMI:

Around Substack good reads:

Unfixed

April showers bring May wowzers

It feels almost surreal (and giddy fun) to be sharing news of a second publication just months after my first…

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a month ago · 20 likes · 7 comments · Kimberly Warner

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07.05 Into My Current Skincare Routine

It has taken me years, and I mean years to finally find a skincare routine that works for me…

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https://provokedmagazine.com

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In-person is magic!

I hosted , and friends ( Substackers, , , attended) at my home in Boston to celebrate her new book, Fallout.

Eleanor did a reading, as you can watch on the video above and these fun Notes clips and Instagram!!, and we were hooked by the story of a fifteen year old girl running away from home to join a women’s peace camp in the early eighties United Kingdom. Fallout, is based on a major moment in the UK, the Greenham Common protest. The all-women (30,000-70,000 of them) peace camp at a nuclear base from 1981-2000 in the UK is practically unknown here in the US. But, not for long.

FIRST BOOK WE WILL READ: FALLOUT

By

Buy Fallout!

Fallout is the book to start our club with, ladies. These are crazy times, and so were the 1980s. We were around the same age as the protagonist, Bridget, is in the book, fifteen, in the early 80s. We can relate to the characters in Fallout now as grown women looking back and as mothers of girls, or as women in protest. The Greenham Commons history is itself a major character in the book and something we women should know about and share with our kids and friends.

About FALLOUT:

“A radical daughter. A closeted father. A prim mother turned protester. One runaway girl sets a family on fire—and lights the way to liberation.

In the bleak winter of 1982, fifteen-year-old Bridget has had enough. Enough of Thatcher’s Britain, enough of being invisible, and enough of her family’s secrets. Armed with little more than a sharp tongue and a fierce sense of justice, she runs away from her suburban life to join the Greenham Common Women’s Peace Camp—one of the most iconic protest movements in British history.

But Bridget’s disappearance doesn’t just blow open her own life. It sends shockwaves through her fractured family: her distant, conservative mother, who’s about to fall headlong into a love affair she never saw coming, and her father—a man with secrets of his own, who’s spent a lifetime hiding in plain sight.

Set at the unlikely intersection of nuclear disarmament and personal awakening, FALLOUT is a fearless, darkly funny exploration of identity, family, and midlife reinvention. With an irreverent bite that evokes Fleabag, the emotional complexity of Bad Sisters, and the political urgency of Milkman.” Simon and Schuster

I adore Eleanor’s writing and was hooked when I read her memoir, A Memoir in 65 Postcards & The Recovery Diaries. She is a lot cooler than you or I and has survived to tell her own story.

When shall we meet? Below is a poll to see about timing. You need to order the book here and read it. We don’t want to wait too long! The actual meeting we can do a Zoom and in person, like the book launch. I’m hoping Eleanor can join in, too!

MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS!

What do you feel about protests? Have you gone to any lately? Are they worth the effort? Why?

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PS: Graduation is coming! Gift Ideas?

PPS: Bebe’s new song!!

PPPs: New Premium “Notes from My Bed” post coming next week!

Get more from Kim Druker Stockwell in the Substack app

Available for iOS and Android

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Hey everyone! Let’s Welcome Eleanor!

Join me tomorrow evening, Wednesday April 29th, via webcast at 5:45PM and to welcome to Boston and hear her read from her new novel, Fallout!!

Click below and join via webcam to my living room at 5:45!!

Join Eleanor, Alisa and Kim

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I’m a writer and business consultant with a deep love for romance and relationship-driven storytelling across books, film, television, and music. I’ve completed an upmarket romance novel, slated for publication in February 2027 with Empress Editions, and I write You Need to Watch This!, a TV and film recommendation Substack I launched in February 2021.

By day, I draw on years of cross-industry experience in consumer marketing and program management; by night, I analyze and write about the media that shapes how we think about love, connection, and culture. My latest venture is leading a monthly Virtual Romance Book Club for the Ashland Library—an experience I love because each month features a different subgenre, giving readers the freedom to choose their own book while connecting through shared themes. It’s a joyful way to recommend romance and build community across the genre.

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What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

The most surprising part of this stage of life is how little time there seems to be. I never feel as though I have enough of it to do everything I want. My drive hasn’t faded. If anything, it’s more focused now. That impulse has been a throughline in my life. In my twenties, my ambition was high, though often accompanied by a quiet melancholy. What surprises me most is that the need to create is still so strong, even as I hold so many other roles: mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend.

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

One new thing I’m trying to embrace in midlife is slowing down—taking intentional pauses to really listen to myself, and then act. I’ve always moved at a fast pace (I’m a double air sign, Rising and Sun), and as an adult, I’ve overcorrected for the indecisiveness I was labeled with as a child by becoming extremely action-oriented and communicative. There is a lot of mental fatigue and emotional load inherent in all of that. Sometimes, forgetting things is the only way I actually slow down. It forces me to stop and listen more closely. Lately, I love solo drives and going to the theater alone; I get to be with my thoughts, and they’re not nearly as scary as they once were.

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

I’d tell myself to save everything I write on hard copies. Every column, every blog post, especially the ones I wrote for online publications in the early aughts. One day, those sites won’t exist, and neither will that Sex and the City–inspired dating column I poured myself into. I’d also say this: start keeping a journal early. Write things down, even when they feel ordinary. One day, you may want to write a memoir, and you’ll wish you had a record of who you were when you didn’t yet know the ending.

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

I’d bring back the Sony Sports Walkman. Technically, they still exist, but nothing has ever replicated that feeling. I spent countless hours listening to cassettes and making mixtapes—Steve Winwood, Prince, Whitney Houston, Cher, Peter Cetera, Pet Shop Boys, Erasure. Music felt tactile then, intentional.

True story: I only started to feel comfortable going out in public alone as a kid once I had one. It gave me something to anchor to—my focus on the music instead of the noise, the crowds, the world around me. In that way, it wasn’t just a music player; it was a small kind of freedom.

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

The theme would be Be the teacher. Slowing down has helped me recognize that one of my greatest strengths is helping others. It’s something that feels deeply inherited—my maternal grandmother, whom I never met, was a nurse, and my grandfather was a doctor. Service is in my DNA.

Embracing this role means being comfortable stepping back, guiding rather than leading from the front, and finding purpose in supporting others as they grow. It’s a quieter kind of impact, but one that feels truer than ever. Considering I’ve never gravitated to the spotlight it’s something that feels authentic too.

Links for Beth:

You Need to Watch This!

I find the good stuff for you. So you don't have to.

By Beth Lisogorsky

Beth’s Romance:

Beth's Romance

Romance fiction stories and essays written by "the other Beth" when she's not reviewing TV and Film

By Beth Lisogorsky

March Book Club Sign Up (Omegaverse Theme) https://ashlandmass.assabetinteractive.com/calendar/hybrid-romance-book-club-omegaverse-2/

April Sign Up: (Secret Identity Theme)

https://ashlandmass.assabetinteractive.com/calendar/hybrid-romance-book-club-secret-identity/

INTERESTED IN DOING THE MAVEN5Q?

Drop me a line by clicking the button below and let’s get started!

The Maven5Q is an interesting midlife exercise….everyone has a different point of view they bring to the questions and that is what I find fascinating. You will, too!

Meet me in the comments:

I agree with Beth in that there doesn’t seem to be enough time to get done all that I hope to accomplish. How about you?

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Meanwhile I was looking for a post to repost, see below, and thought this was worth a revisit and an update!

The Patch and HRT

Like this repost says, I was looking at “The Patch” and did eventually try it for a little over a month, but just like The Pill, it didn’t work for me. I asked around and I am not the only one who has had side effects from The Patch. I felt it made me “ragey”, as the Pill did, and bloated, like the Pill did. Who needs that?? So, I went off of it.

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The reason I wanted to go on The Patch was to future proof myself. As in: future proof my hips with estrogen so they don’t hurt, my skin, my hair, my bones, my brain, my bits. These are all areas that suffer without our lovely estrogen. But, all that means nothing if you feel nuts. That isn’t to say there aren’t other answers!

As it turns out, I do not suffer dramatically from current meno-symptoms (quiet in the peanut gallery). And for the symptoms I have I can manage with my doctor. For all of the above symptoms there are all sort of topical creams and the like that can help.

Tests you should be getting over 50 to see how you are doing. Are there others you think we should have? I found this list on the Internet and I like the way Midi explains each test. If you have a better list, please share with me in the comments!

• A1c (Hemoglobin A1c)

• Annual Stool FIT Test

• ApoB (Apolipoprotein B)

• ApoE (Apolipoprotein E)

• BRCA/Comprehensive Cancer Genetic Screening

• C-Reactive Protein (CRP)

• Complete Blood Count (CBC)

• Cervical Screening (Pap Smear)

• Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (CMP)

• Coronary Artery Calcium (CAC) Test

• Cortisol

• DEXA for Bone Health

• Estradiol

• Fasting Insulin

• Ferritin

• FSH

• Full Body MRI

• Galleri Test

• Homocysteine

• Lp(a)

• Neurotrack

• Sex Hormone-Binding Globulin (SHGB) Test

• Testosterone

• Thyroid Panel

• Vitamin D

MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS:

What symptoms have you fixed in your menopause journey? Anything you think we ladies should know about? Links? Meds?

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What is this feeling I have? Is it relief? Grief? Confusion? How about “Need”?

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The need to be needed.

This is a huge part of midlife. Like it or not, we were all in positions to support others whether it was our kids, our parents, our work. Now all of that is shifting or ending. It is a big deal! Don’t think that this sort of change isn’t a seismic shift in how you experience your daily life. The trick is how to manage this time and change because it is a great opportunity.

It is ok to say “I miss their needs and to be needed”. Everybody wants to be needed and you need to figure out a new way to be needed. That’s a lot of needing already.

I’d love to hear from you and how you are coping with finding new ways to be needed.

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A mistake many of us make, is to get overly involved in lots of needy organizations. Anything that is a volunteer position needs your time and whatever money you can give. Be careful how quickly you fill your time with needy organizations. Give yourself some air to see what else you might need for yourself before you sign up. However, do get involved in a needy organization…just not three or four, if you catch my drift. Think before your jump.

GARDENING

Here is a great way to feel needed: gardening. The NYTimes posted the article I share below this week and I was taken with the visual (above) so much I went and ripped out a bunch of old gnarly bushes in my own back garden to make way for something more magical. Isn’t the video inspiring?

And, by the way you don’t have to go hog wild with physical gardening to garden (although gardening is really good for you). You can plant your tree pit, your window boxes, take up Bonsai, or how I city garden, tend containers. You can hire a gardening and work together on a project. I’m not a gardening freak, but I do see how one might fall down the rabbit hole of tending and forming a garden. A garden needs you to be its best. You are the care giver and you see the benefits of your care and attention by its healthy bushiness and flowers.

Perennials, the plants and flowers that die off each Fall and like a phoenix are reborn each Spring, are wonderful for one’s sense of creation (and pocketbook). I have some plants in my deck containers that have come back up for over twenty years! Right now they are out there with their sweet spikes of growth peaking up waiting for the coast to be clear to burst forth from the dirt. It’s sunny today, I expect some real action from them.

I have a pre-covid jasmine tree that against all odds I haven’t killed (I have no idea how old the plant is, but I’m pretty sure it’s was around during covid). We put it out in the Spring about when we notice it has become home to a battalion of tiny ants and we bring it in before the freeze. It is in full bloom right this minute. I don’t really deserve its explosion of love. I water it, sure. But, we go away and the poor thing barely survives. I think I feed her (when I talk about the jasmine bush at home I refer to it as “she”) once a year, but didn’t until I realized it must need something to replenish the soil as the constant watering washes the nutrients away. I repotted her once into a larger container but she really could use a much bigger pot. I have moss covering the top to try to keep her soil moist. It’s unattractive right now.

Above, there she is in full bloom, filling the kitchen with her sweet jasmine perfume. I love her. And, that’s how I see gardening. Need filled, at least in part.

MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS!

how you are coping with finding new ways to be needed? Any pitfalls? Are you newly into gardening? Do tell!

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How to Start a Garden

By Hannah Kofman

April 9, 2026

Everything you need to know to cultivate the green space of your dreams.

https://www.nytimes.com/article/start-garden-tips-advice.html?unlocked_article_code=1.aVA.l7zh.4a5JD1RC-2AL&smid=url-share

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Some holidays are weird without your kids around, if you have them. Kids, that is. Not Holidays. We all have those. Especially when you’re used to having them around. Kids. Is Pel going to set up an egg hunt for me? He would if I asked him to, but even as an only child, I wouldn’t want to do an egg hunt by myself.

Today was a miserably cold and rainy Spring day here in Boston. Miserable. It sort of seems like “what’s the point of it all?” on days like this. It’s Easter, it’s raining and cold, no kids at home. Wait, there is a kid at home. She just flew in from Spring Break (does it ever end?). She enjoyed her Dad’s Easter spread and we all had fun this morning! Then we went for a walk.

You know where I am going with this….a fun family moment goes south for reasons that wouldn’t exist if we parents were not her parents. Meaning, no one can ruin a fun family moment faster than a parent and in particular a mom and a daughter. After she told me that no, she didn’t want to go look at dresses anymore and we were three minutes from the store (was it something I said? Most likely), I walked on alone thinking $^#@$%$&^%$$!!!!!. Then I went see if I could find my own new dress for graduation.

The store was closed.

It’s Easter and I guess I haven’t gone shopping on Easter because everything is closed! Good for them. Anyway. In the end I wandered home and that was that. We had hugs and I made meatballs.

I had a kid-free Passover at my Dad and Step Mom’s this week but that was fun because I had a bunch of adults to talk to and great food. Passover can handle no kids as long as I have my husband, parents and their friends. But, I still feel it’s no fun to not have any kids around for certain Holidays. Pretty obvious I suppose.

I’ll definitely be writing more about this topic.

MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS…

Are you sad not having your kid(s) home for the current holidays? It’s very new to me, so do tell.

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Opening Day!

Meanwhile, only two days ago I had a wonderful outing with my own Dad for Opening Day! Go Sox! They won! Thanks Dad for keeping up this long tradition. It had been cold and cloudy so we were dressed for rainy 40 degree weather, but turned into a very bright, warm day! As you can see the weather is unpredictable.

Last week’s post:

I really loved doing this post…perfect for midlife warriors looking for new cool things to do. Take a peak. if you like it, please click the heart…Girl needs the love.

Happy Easter and Passover!

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Notes From My Bed is a new series for my Premium Squad! Each week or two, maybe three, for sure when I remember, I will do this pithy, elevating, hilarious piece just for you!

This one drags a bit but I write about it below…

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🀄I got hog-tied into learning Mahjong by a good friend of mine.

I met her over twenty yers ago playing in a tennis clinic. But she moved and we lost touch. Recently, she moved into my neighborhood and we were looking for ways to spend time together. So when she said, '“hey, I’m going to come over and we are going to learn Mahjong” or something of the sort, I was under the impression she didn’t know how to play either and we were going to fumble around and “learn.” I thought, I’ll call my mom and she can come over teach us. She’s played for over twenty years (I have noted the similarity to my current age) and is seriously good. I forgot to call her.

A year ago, I had watched my mom and friends play and thought “I do not get this at all. I don’t see how I will get it, and I don’t like it.”

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A year ago, I had watched my mom and friends play and thought “I do not get this at all. I don’t see how I will get it, and I don’t like it.” Watching Mahjong played by people who are good at it, with no initial understanding of it myself, was completely unhelpful. In fact it was damaging because I thought I was too dense to ever learn (as I currently feel about Bridge). I am telling you this because I found out I was wrong.

I was wrong about all of it. I am not too dense to learn the game and neither are you. It is easy to learn, I did not say it’s easy to be good. It is really fun.

In walks my friend, let’s call her Chili, with a big bag.

It weighs a lot! It turns out my friend was coming to teach me. Like an intervention. It turns out, she does this with people regularly. She’ll come teach you, if you let her. We set up in my living room. The photo above was the second time we played.

First impressions: So Cute! She had this adorable paddle/tennis/cocktail themed set with matching mat and stands. The chips are about a finger thick, opaque lucite or some sort of plastic that is warm in my hand. The back of the chips are all the same gorgeous green and the other side has the info: suits, jokers, flowers, winds. Traditional chips are very different looking but it’s like an accent in a language, you can still understand the different variations.

The square mat is supposed to lessen the sound of the chips and protect them from chipping during the “washing” (tumbling them together to mix them up before the start of a game). The mats are works of art in many cases. Take a peek at my list of places to buy sets below. Apparently, buying sets is addictive, I have friends with twelve and more sets. The leisure companies know a good fad when they see one so they are turning out seasonal sets, holiday sets, sports, colors, flowers, on and on…you name it, they make a mahjong set of it!

How I try to sell this new hobby to others:

🀄When you play Mahjong, you can only think about mahjong. You cannot think about your kids, global politics, or anything else but that card and those chips. It’s not like Bridge, you can talk here and there. But, you do need to focus. So for however long you play, you have distracted (protected) yourself from the outside world and your anxieties. #NoANXIETY

🀄At my age, 57, I have more time than I did when I had a full house. This is the drum beat of the middle-aged-empty-nester or the newly retired. How to spend this time? One very important ingredient is not to isolate yourself. Find things to do that involve others. Here is where Mahjong shines. I love that I spend time with friends doing something that is good for me and my brain and good for them, too! #FillYourTimeWell

🀄I am sure some people can drink alcohol and play Mahjong, I wouldn’t want to try. My groups only play during the day, so there is no boozing. I can only speak from my own experience, but Mahjong can be a great excuse not to booze. Or, if you want an excuse to booze, go right ahead. #HealthyActivity

🀄Have you played Rummikub and loved it? I loved it but no one would play with me in my family. It’s a lot harder to get the game going. Mahjong is quick and you can play with only two people but using two “Bobs” (you’ll learn about Bob) or one if you have three players. #FunGamesWithCoolChips

🀄We take turns hosting. Get a few text chains going: “Can anyone mahj this afternoon?” It’s that easy. #JustDoIt

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🀄Dirty Little Secrets? Yes, there are a few…

1. Mahjong can be quite addictive! Playing online can be a massive time sucker and because it feels like you’re doing something good for your brain and not anxious about some other thing in your life, how can it be bad? Too much of a good thing is….better?

2. I have noticed that the women who have played longer and are into it are starting to go to retreats. There are even tennis-mahjong retreats! $$$

3. Expensive. These mahjong sets can be around $990 and that is for the tiles, mat, stands and bag. The fancy chips themselves can run about $500 but you can get them for a lot less and on Ebay.

4. Kids play! The dirty little secret here is that they are so damn good. A number of my friends have sons and daughters who play. Usually these kids are in college but I had my ass fully kicked by a thirteen year old girl this past week. Super annoying and impressive. Her young spongy brain was so much faster than even my mom’s. She won three times in a row and then had to leave for her tennis lesson. Then my mom won five times in a row. The other woman and I smiled and just enjoyed the ride.

🀄Where to play online!

You want to play online when you are beginning. I didn’t. I should have. For starters, It makes you learn the card. For instance, real players know the card by heart. I don’t. But, I now am pretty sure which grouping I want to aim for. Playing online also lets you try new areas of the card. Be careful, though. An hour goes by pretty quickly when you play online! Give both of the links below a try…don’t do them at the same time so you can get a good amount of free play first. I tried both and they are different.

I LOVE MAHJ

REAL MAH JONGG

🀄Pretty Mahjong Sets and Nifty Accessories

OH MY MAHJONG $$$$

BESPOKE MAHJONG $$$

PEACE LOVE MAHJONG $$

YELLOW MOUNTAIN $

🀄MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS:

Do you play Mahjong? Where do you play? What do you think?

Elizabeth Marquis Mayorca is a poet, essayist and playwright who has been teaching violin and viola for twenty years. She has two teenage daughters and a 49 year old cat (in human years) named Clotilda.

What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

The most surprising part of this stage of life is that I care less about what other people think. I wish I cared even less. I wish I cared less 20 years ago. I allowed myself to be talked into situations I should have walked away from.

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

One new thing I’m trying to embrace in midlife is honoring my desires. I haven’t done that fully yet. I honestly don’t even know what that looks like, but I know it’s a possibility and I’m ready to discover it. Speaking my truth is getting easier and easier though, and I love how speaking my truth feels.

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

20 years ago, I let myself be influenced by what other people told me to do or not to do. I listened to criticisms and silenced myself, made myself smaller. I thought my voice didn’t matter for a time. I wish I hadn’t listened to others’ influences. I had an inner compass; I still do. I trust myself. I wish I had trusted myself more back then.

I plan on trusting myself more in the next 20 years.

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

I wish the bookmobile would come to our neighborhood. I wish my family would turn off the TV and play games together or just sit and talk to one another.

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

In the past, I put my body last, and now I’m putting my body first. I’m caring for my nutrition, I’m going regularly to the doctor for checkups, I’m researching how to make it through perimenopause and menopause, and I’m saying NO more and more often. But I could say NO more. It is still so uncomfortable to say NO. I need to work on that.

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MEET US IN THE COMMENTS!!

What would you bring back from your youth? I do love Elizabeth’s remembering the BookMobile…What a concept:)

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ICYMI

I’ve really enjoyed chatting with the new subscribers who found us on the Homeworthy site (se below). The most common comment I am hearing when I ask them what they would like to hear more about is:

“How to find my purpose in this next phase of life.”

There is no one answer but many, to how we seek, try, succeed, fail and try again with this next big phase of life. I guess that is what WSG is all about. The motivation to try new things. Hearing from people who have tried new things and how it went!

PS

Be sure to check out Substack Notes! It’s a more casual way for writers and readers to communicate, but no less important than our posts!

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This week I planned to share my new Homeworthy episode with you and here it is! It turns out though, Homeworthy has a lot of wonderful subscribers who saw the piece and joined Women’s Survival Guide! So, now this post is also a heartfelt welcome to my new readers! Thank you for joining!

Start HERE to see WSG’s super fun, incredibly detailed ABOUT page!!

I’m not kidding, it’s a really long page, but worth a look!

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MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS!

🎥 What do we think about video magazines?

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I wasn’t sure because I like to rip the pages out of a paper magazine and start files. And, I like the detailed source lists traditional magazines have in the back. But, having read the comments on YouTube, and responded to 175 of them (so far), I can see people really enjoy the intimacy of a private tour and getting to know the owners. I think I get it!

I’m thrilled I got the opportunity to do the tour for Homeworthy and it’s completely due to a friend of mine’s daughter, Chloe Atkinson, a producer at Homeworthy! Thank you Tess and Chloe!

FYI:

The Maven Questionnaire (Maven5Q):

This is new to WSG! I ask five questions of a reader, a friend, a stranger. The same five questions and here they are:

What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

Want to be a published author? Take a swing at those questions and send them to me… womenssurvivalguide@gmail.com

Kathy McGowan set off on her first journey in 1970 when she went to work in the kitchen of the British Ambassador’s residence in Copenhagen. She currently lives in a little village in Bulgaria where she builds with mud and grows trees, flowers and asparagus.  In the 50+ years in between, she’s worked in 8 countries; passed through many others; lived in a ridiculous number of houses and gathered a plethora of stories and memories. She loves food, glittery shoes, long lunches and Newcastle United.

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What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

That my body is not keeping it’s part of the bargain - it seems like an endless stream of little things that require my attention in managing them

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

Being a writer

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

Don’t wait until you’re 70 to stop giving a fuck

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

Trust is the first word that comes to mind and living without fear

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

I don’t know but it would have to be full of glitter.

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LET’S TAKE IT TO THE COMMENTS, BABY!

First of all….this is a pretty great quote from Kathy:

”If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

I don’t know but it would have to be full of glitter. “

Not to be outdone by “Don’t wait until you’re 70 to stop giving a fuck.”

What would your answer be?

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Want to do the Maven Q5? Here they are! Please send them to me and I can do a post like this for you!

1 What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

2 What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

3 If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

4 What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

5 If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

Travels through my life by Kathy McGowan

I live in a tiny old house made of mud in a little village in Bulgaria where I spend my time growing trees and asparagus and I want to write about the 73years it took me to get here, the houses I've lived in and the gorgeous shoes I've worn along the way.

ICYMI!

I have an urge to shout out some other women’s work today! We learn about ourselves when we pay attention to what other people are up to and it feels good when we share what turns us on.

So, here we go!

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Posts for your reading pleasure!

• Anyone into Bridgerton? Enjoy and company’s chat-down about Bridgerton! And, there is a dip into Ryan Murphy’s Love Story on Hulu…Can’t say I need to be thinking about JFK jr and Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. It’s been a long time that we have managed to avoid it, but they were very attractive, so.

You Need to Watch This!

Gen X Ladies on Bridgerton S4: It's 🔥 and ❤️

No, I’m not the new Lady Whistledown but I may as well be. Here to convey some news: The three Gen-X ladies are back at it—Sheila, Ingrid, and moi—joined by the lovely Claire Holden, a self-described “ardent Austen admirer” whose Substack, It’s All About the Words…

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4 months ago · 17 likes · 20 comments · Beth Lisogorsky, Sheila Moeschen, Ingrid Haring-Mendes, and Claire Holden

• Love a horoscope? and tells us her take, In like a lion, out like a lamb. Get ready for some March motivation!

The Midst

Your March horoscope is here!

Dear women…

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4 months ago · 7 likes · 2 comments · The Midst and Amy Cuevas Schroeder

• Tips from an organic farmer on pesticides and how she is writing a non-fiction book about farming, the American culture surrounding food, its politics and the deceit of the advertisers, food companies, and our government. Jeannie’s work always is a great read!

Constantly Curating

Braiding

Dear Friends…

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4 months ago · 15 likes · 3 comments · Jeanne Blasberg

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• Just when you thought it was safe not to worry about make up, writes about “The beauty industry doesn’t sell beauty; it sells cosmetics. Cosmetics are semiotic tools; they can communicate wealth, health, gender, power, political allegiance, attractiveness, etc. The FleshMatrix is an attempt at mapping what the hell “beauty” meant this month, via a fun little perceptual map plotted across four quadrants”

FLESH WORLD by Jessica DeFino

The FleshMatrix: Manosphere Models, Erewhon Botox, & Hot Girls <3 Chinese Medicine

The beauty industry doesn’t sell beauty; it sells cosmetics. Cosmetics are semiotic tools; they can communicate wealth, health, gender, power, political allegiance, attractiveness, etc. The FleshMatrix is an attempt at mapping what the hell “beauty” meant this month, via a fun little perceptual map plotted across four quadrants…

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4 months ago · 55 likes · Jessica DeFino

• Need to find a few new reads from a reliable source? Meet and her blog !

Audacious Creative Lives

The Best Books I've Read Lately

This week I wanted to share the books I’ve been loving lately, and hear from you what you are reading. But first . . …

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4 months ago · 55 likes · 17 comments · Anne Boyd

• Here they are again! JFK Jr and CBK….they did have great style. But, not sure about the other examples:) always has something interesting to say!

Cartoons Hate Her

90s Style Icons to Emulate who are NOT Carolyn Bessette Kennedy

Everyone, from various Substackers to Vogue is talking about how to get the Carolyn Bessette Kennedy (hereby known as CBK) look, popularized by the new series, Love Story, which follows the relationship of Carolyn Bassett Kennedy and JFK Jr. Demand for CBK-adjacent clothes is so high that old Calvin Klein dresses are…

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4 months ago · 136 likes · 59 comments · Cartoons Hate Her

• Thinking of writing a book? Meet and her post “Midlife Can Be a Superpower that Fuels Your Writing Dreams (If You Can Overcome These 3 Challenges)”

Write Your Next Chapter

Midlife Can Be a Superpower that Fuels Your Writing Dreams (If You Can Overcome These 3 Challenges)

It seems the experiences of midlife women are really having a moment in the larger cultural dialogue, doesn’t it? I’m sure, in part, I’ve just been noticing it more since I am firmly in midlife. And most of my friends and colleagues are in midlife. And all of my coaching clients are in midlife…

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4 months ago · 20 likes · 8 comments · Heather Garbo, Book Coach

• And, because I love everything writes and I know you will too, here is her latest which includes an except from ’s new book, Just Like A Movie!

THE EMPRESS

If Your Nervous System Had a Vision Board 😂

✨ A vibrant space for midlife women and men, The Empress now reaches over two million readers through our networks of networks. ✨ From bestselling author Alisa Kennedy Jones. ✨ If you enjoy content about midlife, humor, and agency, I’d love to welcome you as part of our community. ✨ For only $50/year ($4.17 a month!) or $5/month, you’ll gain access to a…

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4 months ago · 14 likes · 15 comments

I hope you enjoyed checking out some new blogs and points of view!

MEET ME IN THE COMMENTS!

Tell us your new favorite Blog to read and listen to!

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When and why?

What do you wear that belonged to an important she in your life? She doesn’t have to be deceased. I wear things of my shes every day. I also wear things of theirs at specific times to honor them, and bring them along with me, like my grandmother’s pearls, a purse of my mom’s, a jacket of my step mom’s. I’m wearing my mom’s wedding band from my Dad right now. It’s simple, thin and sweet, kind of like they were at 23.

And, given my recent dirndl experience (see last post), it occurred to me I might not the only one who does this. Am I a hoarder of old things? A sad nostalgic? Someone who likes to dress uniquely? Maybe a little of all of those descriptions.

what is something you wear that was your mom’s (grandmother’s, etc)?

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A few weeks ago, I was sitting on a plane to Phoenix in a 1980s quilted jacket that looks like a bed cover that was my mom’s. My daughter has taken to wearing it. I needed a coat to go from cold to warm and as I ferreted around in the girls’ closet, there it was.

It’s back in style, actually. I never really liked it but when mom was cleaning out her closets last year, before the Big Move from house to condo, she gifted a few bags of her old clothing to me and the girls. The bags were full of 1980s and 90s with a smattering of 70s and 00s. Bright cobalt blue, yellow, and pink items including a never worn ball gown with matching purse and wrap in a gorgeous stiff silk. Filene’s Basement tags were still on a few of the fancy dresses (anyone remember their area called The Vault?). We have a large closet between the girls’ rooms that has become a costume wardrobe to beat all, spanning generations and styles.

The downside of accepting the bags of clothing is storing them and keeping the volume of stuff from driving you crazy. But, the upside is all the fun you can have mixing and matching generations and styles all while honoring your shes.

Let’s take it to the comments!!

What do you like to wear that was your mom’s?

Is there something of her’s you covet?

What is that item? Let’s have some fun here!

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Go, !!! I CANNOT wait to read your book…

gotham girl

My Life as a Bad Bunny Trust Fall? 😂

Thanks for reading gotham girl! This is a free post, so please share it on social media; just be sure to include a link. Sincerest thanks to every single paid subscriber. You are keeping the lights on around here, and I can’t thank you enough for it…

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4 months ago · 28 likes · 22 comments · Alisa Kennedy Jones